Tuesday, January 31, 2006

S.F. Newspaper Reveals Gay Agenda

Well, I didn't mean to, but here I'm going to copy-and-paste another whole column into the blog, just because it's so good from beginning to end.

But ... first ... do you remember back in the day, when Tony Bennett sang "I Left My Heart in San Francisco?" Remember how it started?

The loveliness of Paris
Seems somehow sadly gay.


OK, so ... how does San Francisco, of all places, get off saying Paris is gay? Like, compared to what? Compared to San Francisco? Or was he saying that Paris is sadly gay, while San Francisco is happily gay?

I never got that.

Anyway, from San Francisco, Mark Morford has this revealing exposé of the gay agenda. And he throws in the straight agenda, for good measure.
I have spoken with my gay friends. I have been to yoga classes and men's health spas and Restoration Hardware, chic rug shops and the Castro Starbucks and really cute restaurants featuring mixed baby greens that cost $12. I have observed. I have taken notes. I have checked the fashions and the cars and the skin-tight T-shirts, the newsletters and the bumper stickers and the secret codes hidden within the rainbow flag.

It is time to come clean. It is time to reveal the truth. After all, the religious right has been hammering at it for years, the pseudo-Christians and the homophobes and the sexually terrified all fully and truly believing that there is a plot, a massive, deep-seated agenda among the gay community not only to decriminalize and demystify homosexuality but to actually coerce and cajole and actively lure the innocent white babies of America into the sordid and well-dressed "gay lifestyle," so much so that, much like aliens living in underground cities in Area 51, well, there must be something to it.

Just look. Look at the wanton slew of nasty e-mails I received -- intermixed like bloody shrapnel amid a huge stack of gorgeous e-mail enthusiasm, mind -- in response to my recent column extolling the virtues of the heartbreaking, perspective-altering "Brokeback Mountain" phenom, wherein I dared to suggest that this spare and potent little film might actually help deflect the savage karmic pain of people like Samuel Alito and move the human experiment forward, just a little. What nerve I had.
Mark, gay films move us back. To tell society, which includes children, that to stick a penis inside someones anus, a wholey unnatrual act is ok and normal is ubsurd. I don't hold anything against gays, I'm not one to judge people, they can do what they please, but to shove their pervertions down everyones throat, and to try to make it mainstream and teach children honosexualiy is a normal thing for people to do is sick. -- Steve W

Or this:
It is really hard to believe that people like yourself are gloating over this film and are so proud of the degradation of our country (USA) that you have joined the masses and are HELL BENT on the destruction of Christianity, family values, and everything that is decent and what out forefathers have fought and died for in this country. Your kind are the real BIGOTS! You are the enemy of everything that is decent and good, you love death and destruction (that is what the homosexual lifestyle will lead to)... -- Larry L

Isn't that sweet? Doesn't it make you feel good to be an American? Sure it does.

But you know what? Adorably rabid, misguided homophobes like Steve and Larry, they might have a point after all. Because after all my observations and when I really allow myself to be honest, I become convinced of the existence of a truly shocking gay lifestyle, an actual gay agenda far more sinister than even desperately misguided and morally lost people like Steve and Larry can comprehend.

Do you know what it is? Do you want to know the real gay agenda, what 96.8 percent of all gay couples wish for every single day including Sunday? Here it is:

From what I can glean and above all else, the gay people of America seem to want this simply inexcusable level of boundless, unchecked normalcy. It's true. For some reason, they believe the utterly disgusting idea that they should be able to live their lives in peace and trust and health, with full support and assistance from their schools and hospitals and government, just like everyone else. I know. Shudder.

It is, in fact, remarkably similar to what heteros want. And women. And black people. And immigrants. And dwarves. That is, to be able to fall in love and maybe even get married (or at least have the option) and have decreasing amounts of sex and raise a family and hold down a good job and pay their taxes and argue with their lovers over who the hell spent 200 bucks on long distance to their mother, all while not having to worry about getting the living crap beaten out of them with tire chains by Arkansas and Alabama and most of Texas, or secretly loathed by small-minded pseudo-Christians who wouldn't know Jesus' true message if it bit them on the other cheek.

Ah, the deviousness of it all, the sheer nerve to desire the same sort of lives as everyone else. But do you want to know the kicker? The true aspect of the "gay agenda" that makes the religious right's skin really crawl? Here it is: When all of that normalcy is in place, when these repulsive gay beings who like to walk around in public and eat at restaurants and drink their lattes and laugh out loud and stick things into each other's bodies for sexual pleasure, well, they want the most appalling thing of all: They just want to be left alone.

I know. It's hideous. How dare they! How dare most gays ask not to be harassed and not really care to flaunt their sexuality or convince anyone that homosexuality is cool or righteous or the only way to be, beyond reassuring children that it's OK to be whatever religion or sexual orientation your mind and body and heart and soul guide you to be. Can you imagine? What horror. Ignorant, intolerant schoolteachers should protest that nasty idea right now. Oh wait.

This is, in fact, the most sinister gay agenda of all. Normalcy. Lack of fear. Happiness. The right to be miserably in love just like everyone else and have it recognized by the culture as, well, no big deal. Safe. Healthy. Beautiful, even. What nerve.

To Steve and Larry's great dismay, gay people do not seem to care in the slightest for converting anyone to homosexuality, which of course would be the equivalent of converting a frying pan into a doorknob. It simply cannot be done. It's bitterly sad that this must be repeated so frequently in terms so simple that even Steve and Larry can comprehend, but gayness is no more a lifestyle choice than is blond hair or blood type or that knowledge, deep down in your skin, that Bush is raping the soul of the nation. It just is.

Much can be learned from this shocking revelation. Much we can glean from the gay agenda's "true" motivations -- most notably in how it contrasts with the famed and beloved Christian neoconservative heterosexual agenda, the one that instructs that you please keep your mouth shut and blindly believe in the same bitter God as everyone else, and by the way please bury your true sexuality and get married at 23 and pop out six kids and become quickly and quietly miserable and gain 30 pounds and stop having sex entirely and get divorced at 50 and wake up just in time to watch yourself die.

Oh my yes, that has proven to be just so much better, hasn't it, Steve? Larry? Here Is The Big Gay Agenda Revealed! The horrifying secret plot to homo-amplify America. Also: Dig this hetero agenda!

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frightening, isn't it.

How dare you undermine my family, flaunting your bizarre behaviors.

January 31, 2006 11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like it's morning in America. The liberal lockhold on the media has been broken. Ring them bells!

"WASHINGTON - Samuel Anthony Alito Jr. — the son of an Italian immigrant and a longtime lawyer, prosecutor and judge — won Senate approval Tuesday to become the nation’s 110th Supreme Court justice.

The 55-year-old U.S. appeals court judge was to be quickly sworn in before his expected appearance at Bush’s annual State of the Union speech with the White House’s other new Supreme Court judge, Chief Justice John Roberts.

Alito and Roberts are expected to lead the nine-member Supreme Court into a new conservative era following the retirement of O’Connor, the court’s first female justice and a key moderate swing vote on issues like assisted suicide, campaign finance law, the death penalty, affirmative action and abortion."

January 31, 2006 11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"How dare most gays ask not to be harassed and not really care to flaunt their sexuality or convince anyone that homosexuality is cool or righteous or the only way to be, beyond reassuring children that it's OK to be whatever religion or sexual orientation your mind and body and heart and soul guide you to be."

Actually, we really don't want public schools taking this position and TTF claims they don't either. And how is "religion" part of the mix. Typical rhetorical manipulation.

"Ignorant, intolerant schoolteachers should protest that nasty idea right now. Oh wait."

Click on that link. Some school board in California ruled that rainbow-colored posters, produced by GLSEN, warning against homophobia should be placed in every classroom in the school district and a group of teachers dissented. I'm on the teachers' side. Hope they don't get kicked out of NEA.

"This is, in fact, the most sinister gay agenda of all. Normalcy. Lack of fear. Happiness. The right to be miserably in love just like everyone else and have it recognized by the culture as, well, no big deal. Safe. Healthy. Beautiful, even. What nerve."

They don't just want this. They want government to force it down everyone's throat. That's where the problem is. We, and the children of America, shouldn't be forced to affirm homosexuality. Whether that makes gays "happy" or not is not an appropriate governmental concern.

"To Steve and Larry's great dismay, gay people do not seem to care in the slightest for converting anyone to homosexuality, which of course would be the equivalent of converting a frying pan into a doorknob. It simply cannot be done."

There's simply no basis for making this statement. No one knows if sexual preferences can be altered but most people think other types of aesthetic preferences can be altered. It's hard to see how this is any different.

"It's bitterly sad that this must be repeated so frequently in terms so simple that even Steve and Larry can comprehend, but gayness is no more a lifestyle choice than is blond hair or blood type or that knowledge, deep down in your skin, that Bush is raping the soul of the nation. It just is."

So now, we don't have any choice about political preferences either.

"Much can be learned from this shocking revelation. Much we can glean from the gay agenda's "true" motivations -- most notably in how it contrasts with the famed and beloved Christian neoconservative heterosexual agenda, the one that instructs that you please keep your mouth shut and blindly believe in the same bitter God as everyone else, and by the way please bury your true sexuality and get married at 23 and pop out six kids and become quickly and quietly miserable and gain 30 pounds and stop having sex entirely and get divorced at 50 and wake up just in time to watch yourself die."

If this isn't anti-Christian and anti-family, it's hard to see what would be.

January 31, 2006 11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"We can't force you to accept and welcome us, but we invite you to. Christ even ate with centurions, and talked to Pharisees."

Glad to hear you agree, Robert. The agenda of which we speak, and which TTfers scoff about, is just that: forcing the American public to accept homosexuality as normal.

January 31, 2006 12:05 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

"They want government to force it down everyone's throat."

Talk about your "Typical rhetorical manipulation." Opponents of the MCPS health education curriculum revision use that phrase often. I remember hearing it at the December 4, 2004, RECALLMONTGOMERYSCHOOLBOARD meeting.

"The agenda of which we speak, and which TTfers scoff about, is just that: forcing the American public to accept homosexuality as normal."

Homosexuality has been around for thousands of years in hundreds of species. It is rare but it is also normal.

Christine

January 31, 2006 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey digger

No mas

I'll look at the passage again tonight and get back to you. Little busy for the remainder of the day.

January 31, 2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

Digger- we eat dinner first and then watch Jeopardy and recycle the papers- but we are straight. And in our house, there is no longer any math. I can certainly see the vast differences that separate us and our lives.

January 31, 2006 7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Get up.
Shave.
Shower.
Drive to work.
Teamed Geometry.
Teamed Algebra.
Lunch.
Read TTF Blog.
Self-contained Algebra.
Go to Gym.
Tutoring.
Drive home.
Watch Jeopardy and grade papers.
Dinner.
Go to bed."

You don't fool us, Robert. We know why you went to the gym.

Seriously, gay people don't necessarily have an agenda. Gay advocacy groups do. The agenda is to force America to affirm the normality of gay relationships and gay sexual activity. Obviously, gays may engage in all sorts of normal activities- like eating and taking showers.

February 01, 2006 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Robert, are you familiar with the "Sir Cumference" books? Sir Cumference and the First Round Table, Sir Cumference and the Knight of Angleland, Sir Cumference and the Dragon of Pi, I think there is also something about a Sword in a Cone, but we don't have that one. Do you know "Math Curse" by Jon Scieszka? Math Curse made my kids giggle and loosen up. The Sir Cumference books use basic geometry throughout the stories, and had my older son ("just because I'm a good reader doesn't mean I have to be good at math!) blurting out formulas and anticipating where the plots would go next. I highly recommend them for 5th to 7th graders- maybe older depending on their level.

Being a mathist can be fun. I wish there was some way to stop 4th grade teachers from saying, "Everyone hates fractions, but we have to do them." Who hates fractions? They're the acrobats of the math world. But with 4th grade teachers such as ours, soon enough everybody will hate fractions.

Going back to the topic at hand, I do not see breakfast on your agenda. Eat an orange for heaven's sake.

I am a one-woman ex-breakfast-skipper ministry.

February 01, 2006 9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"About Romans: I was talking about the beginning of the chapter. Paul calls the Christians in Rome to task about their own sinfulness (a variation on the theme of casting stones, I would presume), encourages them to live moral lives as an example to pagans; and reminds them that God was "patient, kind and tolerant" of them before they came to Christ.

So:

Should Christians focus on the perceived sins of others, or on themselves and their own community? Paul seems clear about this."

This is obvious on an individual level and I agree with you at that level.

"Should Christians focus on laws limiting the opportunity for others to sin, or should they focus on setting a good example by moral living? Paul seems clear on this."

I don't think I see this in the text. It's probably to the benefit of all that a wholesome moral atmosphere is maintained. I struggle with this a little bit because I have libertarian tendencies. Still, I was in Las Vegas recently and it's not pretty. It's probably to everyone's benefit to reduce the blatantness of temptations to sin.

"Should Christians berate pagans whom they perceive as sinful, or should they be "patient, kind and tolerant." Paul also seems clear on this."

I think this is obvious too and I agree with you. Have you been the subject of a lot of berating?

Where's the "tolerant" from in your quotation marks? I don't think I remember tolerance being a Christian virtue. Check out the seven letters at the beginning of Revelation where Christ exhorts the churches that tolerate sexual immorality in their congregations.

"So is anyone who supports a sodomy law, or works to get out the vote or launch an email campaign in an anti-gay effort, really following Paul's advice? Not in my reading of the text."

I'm personally not in favor of sodomy laws. Don't know that there's anything unbiblical about advocating them though.

February 01, 2006 9:41 AM  
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