Monday, February 25, 2008

Checking the Petitions

I was sick this weekend. Had a sore throat through the last half of the week, and then Saturday I got hit with laryngitis. That is the weirdest thing. My throat felt better, in fact I felt better generally, but when I opened my mouth to talk nothing came out. I was supposed to play some music Sunday but canceled it, since I couldn't sing and didn't feel very good.

I missed Saturday, but Sunday afternoon I went down to help the task force review petitions. You know the Citizens for a Responsible Whatever brought thirty-two-thousand-something petitions to the Board of Elections to force a referendum to re-legalize gender-identity discrimination. You really ought to go to their web site to see their happy pictures: They were so proud of themselves, making the world a better place for moral people and all.

I sat with about thirty other people in a sixth-floor office near Thomas Circle, looking at those petitions. They were arranged in stacks along one wall, where the first stack was "Signatures" and other stacks had to do with dates, certification, and other information on the petitions. I was the new guy, I only did signatures. Each petition has up to five signatures on it, the person's name signed and then printed. The signed name has to match the printed name, that's pretty much what the signature check is about. The signature should be legible, if it's not we flag it so somebody can compare the signature to the one in the election board's database. I took a packet of petitions and went through each one, checking each signature. You wouldn't think it was that hard, signing your name and then spelling the same thing.

I'm not going to spill the beans on what has been found. There's a lot more to do, so far the group only has the first thirteen-thousand-something petitions -- I was told the Board of Elections had to swear somebody in to take the originals to Kinkos to make copies, I thought that was interesting. Now the volunteers will go through and record things that look wrong, and then the lawyers will go through and look at those flagged things. Ones they determine to be bad will be reported to the Board of Elections. I don't know how the legal stuff goes, I suppose the other side can appeal, too, or perhaps a settlement can be reached between the two sides. I am really not the expert on legal stuff, don't take my word for it.

I sat at a small table with three other people. It was pleasant, everybody was busy. Sometimes somebody let out a little groan, or a mild "oath," as the writers used to say, when they got through a page and didn't find anything. Or somebody'd say, "Ah, that's two in a row," meaning two pages without errors, but that didn't happen very often.

I didn't talk with the big guys about what the plan is. I expect that at some point the lawyers will want to file something with the Board of Elections, challenging the bad signatures that are found. Nobody knows yet if there will be enough to prevent the referendum or what. There are some other things going on that I did hear about, I'll let you know if any of that comes to be. This is all part of that big process we call "democracy." Yes, you can petition for a referendum, but interested parties have the right to challenge if there are grounds. And they have the right to see if there are grounds.

In other news, I see the CRW is hinting that they are thinking about suing somebody, saying they were harassed while they were gathering signatures. We see HERE that they have issued a press release, but I don't see it on their web site.
... They got volunteers thrown off mall property by complaining to mall managers. Twice, police had to be summoned by store managers to stop transgendered gangs from harassing people attempting to sign the petitions.

Citizens for a Responsible Government released a press release today announcing they are considering filing a civil rights lawsuit because of the extent of the harassment. Such tactics "are commonly used by totalitarian governments. There is no place for this in Montgomery County," attorney John Garza said.

I'm thinking they might want to be a little careful about going down that road, especially since we have numerous reports of people being assaulted and verbally abused by their petition-pushers. The smart thing for them would be to try to generate a little sympathetic publicity and then let it drop.

But you gotta give them credit for the idea of "transgendered gangs." I'm sure they got a laugh out of it when they thought of the phrase, but ... no, that's for The Onion, not reality. Also, they must know how it looks to claim to have been chased out of Dodge by "transgender gangs." I'm just saying, their redneck buddies might see some humor in it.

It seems to me that "complaining to mall managers" is pretty much a fair thing to do, if it works. I talked to a few store managers, pointed out to them how it made their store look, explained the background of the situation. Most managers decided to throw them out whether we talked to them or not. I had one manager let one person stay, but he came out and turned away back-ups. Another one just told me they had permission, and as far as he was concerned that was that. All in all, it was worth a try.

I imagine that the next thing will be a meeting between the lawyers, and something filed with the elections board. I thought I heard the word "press conference" yesterday, so I imagine there will be an announcement when something happens.

Here are a few pictures from the petition checking.

And one to throw fear into the heart of every true shower-nut -- a unisex bathroom! Mwah-ha-ha-hee-hee-hee:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim, the tactics you guys used to hinder the petitioners really don't look good. I've never heard of sending out groups of five to stand in front of tables and argue with petitioners so they couldn't talk to anyone else. You might want to take down the pictures from Leisure World. They could be used against your case.

And the worst part is that one of these harassers was a county-paid advisor to the councilman who authored the bill.

As for counter charges, they won't be credible since you were the agressors. Few will sympathize when you went out to cause an argument. Anyone who talks to Andrea, for example, will see an abrasive, surly individual who is likely to provoke a negative reaction.

Meanwhile this was posted by Dr Beyer yesterday:

"Gay Microsoft employee leaves amazing $65 million to support LGBT orgs

This is the largest single bequest ever to the LGBT movement. The estate of Ric Weiland, who was one of the first five employees at Microsoft, announced the establishment of a sizable new fund through the Pride Foundation, which serves the Northwest's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community."

What is left out is that Weiland committed suicide due to a long struggle with mental illness. Once again we see that many who are active in the gay rights movement are mentally ill. You might want to keep it on the down low.

Oh, that's right. You did.

February 25, 2008 8:46 AM  
Blogger JimK said...

OO, I have described what we did in relation to the petition folks in some detail, and there is absolutely nothing out of line in any of it. We have the same right you do to stand on a sidewalk and talk to people.

When we went to Leisure World, nobody was doing petitions, so we sat and had coffee at Starbcks for an hour or so. Dana showed up there, so there were five of us, relaxing and talking. When we were walking back to our cars, we found Jeff with the petitions. Maryanne knew him already, and he greeted her warmly. Three people -- Dana, Maryanne, and Cynthia -- stood and talked with Jeff, while Christine and I hung around waiting. Christine joined in the conversation sometimes, but she actually went back to Starbucks at one point, I walked around taking pictures. We didn't block anybody, surround anybody, or anything else. As I said, I understand that you guys would like to make it sound like gangs of transgender bullies attacked you everywhere, but if you want to take it to court you're going to have to swear to tell the truth, and so will we, and you won't be happy with the outcome. It would be prudent for you to drop it at this point, you've got your sob story out there.


February 25, 2008 9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I wasn't at any of the places you went. I was just telling you how the Leisure World pictures look.

I myself would not be a party to any suit. I'm just a yakker. While I'd like to see the referendum succeed, I have somewhat different concerns from the stated CRG position. I don't have any contact or invilvement with CRG other than a place on their mass e-mail list, like you.

The Dana involvement was unwise. It looks bad because of Dana's position on the County Council.

February 25, 2008 10:32 AM  
Blogger JimK said...

It doesn't "look bad" for a person to advocate a position on an issue, especially a civil rights issue like this one. Dana knows what's right and she says so -- I think it would "look bad" for her to sit by passively out of fear that somebody's going to think it "looks bad" for her to express her opinion.


February 25, 2008 10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OO...your remark is truly reprehensible and ignorant! "Once again we see that many who are active in the gay rights movement are mentally ill. You might want to keep it on the down low."
That kind of remark definitely lowers your credibility (the little that you already have) and causes others to question your own sanity! It is one of those remarks, equivilent to the "Heil Hitler" of the gentleman representing your cause before the County Council, that the citizenry of this county will not accept.
It is insidiously evil, demeaning, and obviously hateful. Be good to yourself...take a vacation!

February 25, 2008 10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooh, your honor, here's a picture of the bruises where they were beating us with their purses. It really really hurt. Waaaa!

February 25, 2008 10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OO (or shall I saw...AnonFreak)-

Grow up!

I teach high-schoolers much more mature than the antics you exhibit on this blog. Maybe they can teach you how to act like a civilized adult.

February 25, 2008 10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OO said...
"-the tactics you guys used to hinder the petitioners
-sending out groups of five to stand in front of tables and argue
-one of these harassers
-you were the agressors
-you went out to cause an argument
-Andrea … abrasive, surly individual who is likely to provoke a negative reaction

You know what OO, ultimately it doesn’t matter what happens based on CRW slander.

At least our consciences will be clear, our hands will be clean, and we will still own our souls. God or no god, we will leave here with what we came with.

And even if gender identity ends up NEVER being protected, and we “lose,” there is, and will continue to be, a permanent record of what has been said and done in this debate -- for all the permanent future to see. And I for one, am perfectly comfortable with that.

Something I doubt that yourself and your CRG friends can say with the complete, and sheer sense of certitude that most of us here can - as none of you have ever even tried to.

February 25, 2008 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OO said...
"Once again we see that many who are active in the gay rights movement are mentally ill."
As opposed to the nearly definitive 100% of those involved in the supremacist rights movement who are mentally ill.

February 25, 2008 11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is from's blog:

A 22 year high school football star is threatening a lawsuit against Montgomery County. Executive Ike Leggett will also be named a defendant. The suit will use the new anti-discrimination law protecting �perceived� transgendered individuals. Tank Thompson the former Churchill High School star fullback claims the county refuses to recognize his �perceived� disability. Tank who is a physical trainer and national black belt karate champion recently discovered that he has always been disabled and unable to walk.

Upon discovering his disability Tank purchased a wheelchair and quit working. �I always felt I was disabled, even when I was a young man.� Stated Tank. Tank found kind hearted doctors in San Francisco willing to amputate his legs so he can complete his transformation to disabled status. Tank is going to work for perceived disabled rights and plans to start a group called Parents and Friends of Perceived Disabled (PFPD). �I intend to get PFPD clubs into the schools as well� stated Tank.

County officials refuse to grant Tank disability status and therefore Tank is going to sue. �If a man can perceive he is a woman, surely a man can perceive he is disabled� Tank stated in a recent new conference.

Ike Leggett promised to set up a commission on �perceived� status to determine all the perceived states that would apply under the new anti-discrimination law. A small but vocal group of disabled citizens suggested that it is unfair to allow perfectly healthy individuals like Tank to declare �perceived� status. Leggett described the disabled group as intolerant and judgmental bigots. �We have whites perceiving themselves black, men perceiving themselves women, even children demanding to be parents,� said Leggett. Leggett says his commission will be able to sort this out and make recommendations. Leggett plans to increase taxes to pay for the commission which expects to meet monthly for 2 years. The commission will be comprised of mental health experts and community activists. Leggett said allowing religious groups on the commission would violate the separation of Church and state.

Leggett went further to state that he perceives himself to be Hillary Clinton and demanded that the other Hillary move aside so that he could be elected President.

Who knows what will happen next.

February 25, 2008 1:38 PM  
Blogger Priya Lynn said...

Red Baron said "Once again we see that many who are active in the gay rights movement are mentally ill."

Wrong. 50 years of research starting with Evelyn Hooker in the 1950s shows that gays are indistinguisable from straights on measures of mental health.

February 25, 2008 1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andrea-not anon
Hey, Derrick

Whenever I read that Recall "blog"- I always think the writer - who does not allow comments- has a serious mental problem- ingrained bigotry syndrome.

February 25, 2008 3:44 PM  
Blogger Priya Lynn said...

Andrea, anyone who writes a blog and does not allow comments is a wannabe dictator and that is how they want to see the world ruled. Tells you a lot about the CRW bigots.

February 25, 2008 4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree, Andrea and Priya.

The CRW and the Westboro Baptist Church hardly listen to reason...if they did, they wouldn't be full of such hate. It's sad.

This is why people like us need to continue fighting the good fight. Love conquers hate.

February 25, 2008 4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The shower-nuts think they really have something here:

See, one of their volunteers put his hand on me when I interrupted him to correct one of his hate-based (and obviously just memorized) lies... I physically thought my safely was in danger as well.

February 25, 2008 6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CRW(Whatevers) wrote(with Garza's help,"Garza is also acting as an attorney for several volunteers who were harassed and intimidated. He indicated he will probably file a civil rights violation lawsuit soon."


Garza is just looking for clients and the CRW(hatevers) are liars and bigots. We all know that.

Big surprise--not!

Garza is acting like jerk by encouraging this. They and Garza just want press any way they can get it. But they have not figured out it will be negative for them and bring to the forefront their quest to discriminate against transgenders. That leads back to their behavior against gays and lesbians.

They are not happy unless they are discriminating against someone.


February 25, 2008 7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now was Dana acting as a private citizen while off the public clock and not acting in any official capacity? Is Garza saying Dana has no rights on a weekend to act as a private citizen? Or is Garza and his Showernuts advocating to bully Dana and send a message to all transgenders about what will happen if they dare speak out or act political to stop discrimination? Is Garza going to sue us all in the universe?


Sec. 19A-14. Misuse of prestige of office; harassment; improper influence.
(a) A public employee must not intentionally use the prestige of office for private
gain or the gain of another. Performing usual and customary constituent services,
without additional compensation, is not prohibited by this subsection.
C - 16
(b) Unless expressly authorized by the Chief Administrative Officer, a person must
not use an official County or agency title or insignia in connection with any
private enterprise.
(c) A public employee must not use any County agency facility, property, or work
time for personal use or for the use of another person, unless the use is:
(1) generally available to the public; or
(2) authorized by a County law, regulation, or administrative procedure.
(d) (1) A public employee must not appoint, hire, or advocate the advancement of
a relative to a position that is under the jurisdiction or control of the public
(2) A relative of a public employee must not be employed in a position if the
public employee:
(A) would exercise jurisdiction or control over the position; and
(B) advocates the relative’s employment.
(e) A public employee must not intimidate, threaten, coerce or discriminate against
any person for the purpose of interfering with that person's freedom to engage in
political activity.
(f) A person must not influence or attempt to influence a public employee to violate
this Chapter.
(g) (1) A public employee must not with respect to a particular matter represent
another person, or provide advice to another person that would qualify as
an expert opinion in a court, if:
(A) a County agency or the County is a party to the matter and the
person being assisted has a position adverse to the County agency
or the County; or
(B) the County agency or the County has a direct and substantial
interest in the matter that is adverse to the interests of the person
being assisted.
(2) This subsection does not apply to a public employee who renders
assistance to:
(A) another public employee if the matter involves a personnel action;
(B) a member of the public employee’s immediate family if the public
employee renders the assistance without compensation; or
(C) a person for whom the public employee serves as a guardian,
trustee or other personal fiduciary.
(3) This subsection does not apply to:
(A) a public employee while carrying out the employee’s official
duties; or
(B) a member of a board, committee or commission if:
(i) the member is not compensated by the County;
C - 17
(ii) the matter does not relate to the responsibilities of the
board, committee or commission; and
(iii) the board, committee or commission solely performs an
advisory function.
(4) In this subsection "represent" means to act on behalf of another person,
and includes acting as an agent or attorney for the other person.

February 25, 2008 8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That small bit of video is all the showernuts have???????

Hilarious!!!!!!!! Oh gee, Dana you certainly scared the
CRW(hatevers). Where was the video of the showernuts running for their lives? . Was that Steina Walter standing right up next to you Dana? She did not look bothered at all and with good reason as this is NO BIG DEAL and never was but as usual the showernuts latch onto it! The
CRW(hatevers) are one sick group


February 25, 2008 8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, it looked like maybe a recap was in order at this point since everyone seems so hopped up on the whole "gangs of transgender thugs" or whatever so many are fond of saying now...

read on, if you really do care. I think it speaks for itself, no matter which "side" you are on.

Jim - sorry to have to post so much in this topic, but now the lies are spreading and i think people needed to see this now, once again.



Feb 12th, 2008 –
Maryanne Arnow
Germantown, MD

Report for Electoral Polling Locations for Coverage - EQMD Decline to Sign Campaign
Transgender Anti-Discrimination Bill, 23-07 - Montgomery County, MD

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. MIDDLE SCHOOL, 13737 Wisteria Drive, Germantown –
No Opposition Present

LAKE SENECA ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 13600 Wanegarden Drive,Germantown –
No Opposition Present

No Opposition Present

KINGSVIEW MIDDLE SCHOOL, 18909 Kingsview Road, Germantown, -
No Opposition Present

RIDGEVIEW MIDDLE SCHOOL, 16600 Raven Rock Drive, Gaithersburg –
No Opposition Present

GREAT SENECA CREEK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 13010 Dairymaid Drive, Germantown, -
No Opposition Present

*** NORTHWEST HIGH SCHOOL, 13501 Richter Farm Road, Germantown *** -
Arrived on location, 2:30PM – Found one older woman. Early 60’s. Grandmother. Name was Jean. Table and opposition materials and petitions present on site. I approached her table. She did not read me as Trans and began her pitch. Part of her pitch included the statement “ I don’t even think there were any public hearings about this.” She had a great deal of concern and “fear” about “predators”taking advantage of such legislation, and her great level of concern as she is a grandparent and her daughter has children including granddaughter.

I listened to her pitch, took one of her flyers, and thanked her. Told her I would be back. Retrieved my briefcase and returned to her table. I asked that she must cease and desist this petitioning, because she is fostering lies and distortions, and to please stop what she was doing as it was literally injurious to my life and my survival because I am directly one of the “kinds of people in question”.

She is very old-school generation and very devout in many of her Christian beliefs. I began to explain myself, my story, and why I believe she has been taken advantage of due to her age/demographic to promote this kind of opposition, based largely in fear, distortions, and various misrepresentations. She kept going back to what seemed rote explanations based on her fear of “predators”, both for herself and for her children and their children. She also called into question theology and we talked about God and the devil, and how she feels that many people are poisoned by such things which oppose the true will of God. I told her that even those which disrespect and hate me have been welcomed in my own house with warmth and hospitality, and how would that figure in me being “godless” as well as the fact that I am Jewish. I never let up for a moment and politely interfered with every attempt she made to collect signatures.

I called her out on her one statement about “she did not think that there had even been public hearings on this matter”. I immediately produced a copy of my testimony from that day and pounded on the point. Gave her one of my cards. Told her to please do more research on the issue. Told her and any potential signers, that they were literally signing a document that is hurting my life and my social standing, and promoting further discriminatory beliefs. I asked her about how she had been promoted to do this task. She admitted she had only just recently met Theresa Rickman/Ruth Jacobs, and had actually never discussed the issue in it’s entirety with them during apparent preparations for this effort.

I asked her to consider that she had been specifically targeted because of her age/social standing/demographic, and beliefs, and that frankly she should be insulted in being used in such a way to promote misunderstanding of such an issue that she was clearly very under-informed and very uneducated about in general. She took that one to heart and blinked hard thinking about that point among others that I relentlessly continued to make without letup. She told me once that she was going to leave soon and pack up so she could go and vote. I thanked her warmly for her discussion and dialogue, and began to leave. As I got in my car, I saw her come back out of the school entrance to approach more potential voters to get signatures. I got back out, went back to her table, and told her I would just have to stay there to thwart every attempt she made to continue in her efforts. After about 15 additional minutes of pleasant and reasonably warm dialogue – we really did establish a good rapport at that point - - she decided to give it up and left very soon thereafter.

I told her to be very careful to allow herself to be sold on fear, and then get behind anyone that would target someone like her to promote a cause or agenda that she did not clearly understand. I told her that if I were her, as a woman and a mother, I would have been insulted by being used in this manner to stand out in the cold on a day like today. Just before leaving, one couple – Late thirties black – male and female slight accent – possibly West Indies or Jamaican – Well-dressed and well-spoken. I asked and debated and literally begged them with them to please not sign as it was directly injurious to my life and ability to function in open society.

The man accused me of trying to tell others what to do or not do and I told him there is a very clear distinction between asking someone and telling them. I explained in brief what TG means in the clinical sense because she asked specifically. She was very concerned about indecent exposure and ambiguity in any womens’ facility, and that as a mother she is very concerned about this.

I explained general demographic of typical predatory types, the differences between gay and trans, hetero/CD, and how even if a male CD/”predator” type were to even consider daring such above the radar exposure, they would be clocked immediately and would most likely no more dare such a thing, much less expose themselves as a CD or impersonator to begin with, much less in broad daylight or any other open/shared public place.

I stressed the fact that no self-respecting TG woman in a clinically supervised transition would ever dare risk such exposure under any circumstances lest completely compromise their process. Told them I use all women’s public facilities as every other woman does. I stressed that every facility that exists has closed stalls or curtains in some part of the facility, and that was not the issue. I gave the example that if people’s perceptions about gay men had been distorted – why would any gay man, much less a drag person, or any other, go to any facility where they would only encounter the sex they sexually desire the very least. That raised a thoughtful eyebrow. I stressed the debacle with the health club and that the opposition had used the lowest tactics possible in setting this “prank” in order to promote further fear to bolster their cause. The man declined to sign but the woman still did even though I pleaded with her not to. At first she was a little condescending towards me and I called her on it. She became much more open and pleasant towards me by the end of it, but still signed. It was like being stabbed in the guts watching her do that while I could only stand and watch.

CHRISTIAN LIFE CENTER, 11800 Darnestown Road, Gaithersburg –
No Opposition Present

BROWN STATION ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 851 Quince Orchard Boulevard, Gaithersburg, -
* Unable to cover this location

SENECA VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL, 19401 Crystal Rock Drive, Germantown –
* Unable to cover this location

ST. ROSE OF LIMA PARISH, 11701 Clopper Road, Gaithersburg, -
No Opposition Present

DR. SALLY K. RIDE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 21301 Seneca Crossing Drive, Germantown, -
No Opposition Present

CLOPPER MILL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 18501 Cinnamon Drive, Germantown, -
No Opposition Present

ROBERTO CLEMENTE MIDDLE SCHOOL, 18808 Waring Station Road, Germantown. –
No Opposition Present

CAPT. JAMES E. DALY, JR. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, 20301 Brandermill Drive, Germantown –
No Opposition Present

NEELSVILLE MIDDLE SCHOOL, 11700 Neelsville Church Road, Germantown, -
No Opposition Present

No Opposition Present

*** STONE MILL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, *** 14323 Stonebridge View Drive, North Potomac, MD

Arrived at approx. 6PM. Table and petitioners are present. Dark and raining, turning to ice. I quietly asked the lead person about her petition – a short frail looking woman with 1 assistant present. The Lead woman clocked me immediately, and addressed me as a male pronoun. I began to try and debate/discuss with her. She was cold and entirely dismissive. I told her I would begin to interfere with her efforts in obtaining signatures. She became very defensive and so did I. She asserted that she had every right to be there and that I needed to leave her alone or she would call the police. I told her to please go ahead and that I had every same right to be there that she did, and that I fully intended to interfere with her activities. I firmly asked her for her name.

Dr. Ruth Jacobs. I then left and called Dr. Dana Beyer from my car. I told her who I was about to engage and was promptly encouraged to fully engage her. I retrieved my briefcase with materials and went back to her table and I introduced myself, and again tried to engage her in debate. I am also now immediately asking people not to sign at the same time she and her assistant are attempting to engage them. She got a bit angry, and told me that I must leave and stop doing what I was doing, or that she would call the police. Took out her phone and began to make calls as if calling the police. I did not let up and became more aggressive in my attempts to discuss the issue with her. She continued to address me in the male pronouns, rather pointedly. I called her by name and demanded she engage me in straightforward and intelligent dialogue in this issue. I asked her why was she being so rude and if that was her typical M.O. in handling such situations. She refused, turned her back, and went inside the school. As she walked away from me I reminded her that she had been quite rude to me at the County Council hearings and if she intended to continue behaving in that manner. I knew she was going to get help in having me removed if possible.

She returned with another woman and a man. As they are hurriedly walking out of the school towards me now, they are loudly addressing me as “SIR !”. “SIR !”. I ignored them as if had not heard it at all. As they arrived at the table, telling me I must leave her alone and stop harassing her, I immediately produced legal identification and TOLD them to please observe the name and gender marker, and to not ever address me in the male gender again. I immediately asked the woman to identify herself. She gave her name and stated she was a “Chief Judge” for that/for the polling location(s).
I did not get her name. Well dressed, mid fifties, medium dark hair, well-spoken, and generally pleasant immediately upon being corrected. I told her I knew well that I had every right to be there doing exactly what I was doing. I told her that I was continuously attempting to engage Dr. Jacobs in intelligent dialogue about the issue, and that should not be considered “harassment”. She backed down her tone immediately and acknowledged my right to be there as well, and advised me that I must make more physical space between myself and Dr. Jacob’s site. I complied. She left with her male counterpart, and I immediately moved to the nearest possible distance bordering on her area.

I then continued to attempt dialogue, now also with her assistant. Assistant was nice, very quiet, focused on her task, and very un-engaging with me. I did not know that I am not allowed to engage potential signers at the same time as they are, and Dr. Jacobs continuously told me not to do that, at the same time she/they were attempting to talk to them. She began to insist that I create “physical space” between her and myself – I am maybe 10 feet away from her, standing directly beyond the borderline of her table space and slogan boards. I told her the scientific definition of “physical space” had been met and that I was going to remain where I was, or as close to it as possible. She continues to address me in the male pronoun. Tells me this is not the time and place to engage in such dialogue.

A man arrives and is acknowledged in a friendly manner by Dr. Jacobs. I heard her say “how glad she was that he was there”. He walks right up to me, nearly toe to toe. Early 50’s, balding, long coat, striking blue eyes, maybe 5’9. Addresses me in the male pronoun with a threatening glare, and tells me I must stop harassing Dr. Jacobs. I insist I am making every attempt to engage her in debate and dialogue on this issue and that she had been pointedly rude to me. He does not care and continues. I address him and ask him not to refer to me in the male pronoun and that I have every legal right to be there the same as her.

I then specifically told him “I would do whatever is necessary to interfere with her activities to prevent her from gaining additional signatures”. He told me that is a direct threat and that he will now contact the police because I am threatening her. I attempt to discuss the issue with him. He will not back down and continues to accuse me of threatening. I called Dana Beyer and inform her police are now being called. She asks if I would like her to arrange some media coverage and I tell her that would be just fine and that I will continue on.

I then attempt to continue discussing the issue with this man. He is calling the police now. I am asking him why he is going to consciously and purposely distort my meaning to make his point and smear me if possible. He insists I have made a threat. I tell him that was not my meaning and the last thing I would ever consider would be any form of physical conflict or violence. I am continuing to try to talk to him the entire time he is on the phone with police. I am also still trying to engage Dr. Jacobs in debate or acknowledgement. I ask him how can he consider himself a moral or ethical standard by distorting my meaning and trying to hurt me by doing so. I ask him if he was aware of the fact that she had been called out during County Council testimony and forced to acknowledge that she has no clinical expertise in matters of gender whatsoever.

He looked surprised for a moment as I inform him I was there beside her when that happened in front of a full council chamber, and that she had shown up that day in a lab coat and stethoscope in order to bolster the public impression of her validity on this issue which was a falsehood. I ask how he could support anyone that would resort to such tactics. He claims to be a friend of hers.
I receive a call from Janel Davis of the Gazette papers and inform her of what has transpired and that police have been called and are on their way. I tell her specifically what both the man and myself have said to one another, and what my position is in this now developing issue. She will call back and make it there to the location if possible.

I then address him once again and tell him I have even written public invitation on the public forum/internet to choose a venue or forum of their choice, and even to my own home in promise of generosity to Dr. Jacobs and Ms. Rickman in a completely hospitable and diplomatic manner, and that request had been ignored and not responded to. I ask him if that sounds like the manner of a violent person ? I implore that if someone has misspoken intent or context and then intelligently ask for correction or understanding, that it should at least be considered and that if he was in same position would he expect the same courtesy. He acknowledges that but refuses to relent. He says “apparently I must have another side to me.”

I ask him to identify himself, but he will not until I identify the name of the reporter to whom I have just spoken with. I refuse at first, but then give him name of Janel Davis of the Gazette. He tells me that his name is “Dan Willard”. Dr. Jacobs apparently immediately calls Gazette and begins telling them of “harassment by Maryanne Arnow”. Mr Willard also speaks with Ms. Davis as I continue to try to speak with him about what he is doing trying to distort my intent when I am clearly not intending any threat or violence. I insist that anyone that knows me will attest this is true. I tell him I welcome people into my home that have even been rude and disrespectful towards me and gladly treat even those with hospitality and generosity, and would a violent person be that way ? He does not care and continues accusing me of harassment and threats to Dr. Jacobs. I even try to make him laugh or smile by chiding him about this as it is all happening.

Janel Davis calls me again. I recap with her what has transpired thus far, and end the call. I talk to Dana Beyer again and tell her of what is now transpiring. I am upbeat and in good humor and tell her it’s all good and that I am fine. Police arrive on site. I am attempting dialogue with a potential signer of their petitions. I finish my discussion, and Montgomery County police officers then politely ask me to step aside for a moment to speak with me. They simply tell me that they cannot stay here and babysit us, to play nice, give each other appropriate space and distance, and that they have far to many calls to deal with something like this. I was respectful and fully acknowledge their request and thank them. They leave immediately.

I now begin to intercept potential signers before they get to them now, and hand out the “Decline to Sign” flyers. I turned once to Dr. Jacobs several feet away and tell her, “Dr Jacobs” – “ I admire your Chutzpah”… A few minutes later she returns the compliment to me out of the blue. We all continue in our tasks now keeping respectful space and distance. She addresses me again a few minutes later, out of the blue, and tells me that she does not have an issue with me, per-se. She quotes my statement from the Gazette article published last year in which I said “this is a “slippery slope”, and says to me that she supports the unisex bathroom idea. I respond in kind and tell her that I respect her professional standing and that other countries have successfully integrated these ideas.
She mentioned Boston’s laws and how they were written to better reflect such concerns as she feels have not been properly addressed in this county’s legislative issue on this matter. We now begin to talk in a very civil, almost social manner, and discuss the issue. She says she is not a bigot and does not feel that such characterizations of her are accurate at all and that she is not a mean or hateful person.

Her main concerns, as she states, are that she feels that any person with male genitalia does not belong in women’s facilities at all. Period. She also feels that this measure was passed too quickly with too much ambiguity and too many issues left not fully addressed, thereby creating situations where such potentially inappropriate abuses by certain males may take place. I counter with her knowledge that when certain people may actually be transitioning, the RLE (real life experience) is a clinical requirement in most cases and that this is still the same exact SOC(standards of care) issue. I ask her how can anyone live the required RLE, without actually facing this issue.

I tell her that no self-respecting transgender(ed) person would EVER consider such inappropriate indecency or exposure as it would compromise and likely destroy a persons’ chances for completion of a successful transition under almost any circumstance should it actually occur. I remind her that all facilities DO have closed stalls which also lock, as well as many having more private areas or curtains in some cases. She states that if a person has appropriate ID/Documentation to assert their identity in gender that this then is not the issue, and that she really does not have an issue with me personally, or persons “like me” that have, or are successfully transitioned to the target gender.

She does tell me that no one should try to “force” their self-perception of gender identity onto or into her reality just because it may be theirs. I tell her a little bit of my personal story of very early childhood self-perception, and how exactly, for me, that has in fact become the undeniable reality of my private and public existence. She states her perceptions, that although this may be mine and others reality of self-perception, but that she and others still do not share this perception in regards to actually being “female”. She states not having the ability to menstruate, or bear children, and therefore not able to face the same rigors and experiences as biological females, and in those ways, therefore, not a necessarily valid reality of a person’s gender from her viewpoint, either as a clinician or individual.

This then leads back to her point of other’s trying to enforce their (legislative) reality of self-perception upon any other such as herself that does not necessarily or fully agree with that individual self-perception. She still states concerns that the legislation has been written in such a way as to leave the door open for abuse or inappropriate use, and that if nothing else, the law could be and should be written better. She feels it was passed too quickly and without enough consideration from the constituency at large and that it could have been done much better and taken more of these – hers and other’s concerns into account.

I hear what she is saying and thank her as well for engaging me in this discussion now. I tell her then that we need to continue in intelligent dialogue to resolve these issues instead of allowing continued degeneration into the shitstorm that this has become.

I tell her I would like to have a part in that process and once again reiterate my desire in opening a forum of open and non-conflict based dialogue, including Ms. Rickman, to work towards resolving these issues if at all possible, and that I would welcome any moderation that she feels would be appropriate. Again I restate she is welcome in my home herself and that anything would be better than continued conflict and lack of mature discussion and intelligent dialogue.

That if it should come to referendum and require re-writing that we all should have a part in that process in a mature and intelligent manner. We actually seem to agree on certain points, and that for those that still are the most concerned, this is in fact a “slippery slope”, where the perceptions of those most opposed or concerned are still not resolved in a suitable manner. Of course I have to say then, that there is simply no way to make “everyone” happy with issues such as these and there will always be dissention from one direction or another at the end of it.

We continued civil, open, and peaceful discussion for a few minutes more. She is preparing to leave and so am I at this point. It is 7:45PM, and we are all walking ice blocks and exhausted. She allows me to offer her a handshake, and then shares a very real and very earnest hug. A hug. Imagine that. More thanks exchanged between us both. I tell her I respect her professional standing, thank her very much for opening that conversation with me, and hope to open more dialogue with her soon. She says must soon return to her work, hasn’t done any of her billings for several months, and then after all of this, maybe such a dialogue can continue in the future. Credit given where honest credit is due. Good enough for me.

That’s it. Thanks everyone for all of your help and support.

Maryanne A. Arnow
Germantown, MD 20874


Maryanne Arnow said...
Two things. I am going to get under some skin here but i have to speak for what i believe is right in my heart, so i will, and darn the torpedoes.

I will likely garner criticism and possibly even hatred from people like myself that are also daily struggling to survive in what is still all too often a very hostile culture, but if i cannot, or do not speak the truth of my heart and then stand on it, then i stand for nothing, and my convictions, feelings and opinions counted as worth even less in the long run.

The first is to Jim - Jim, you know i love and appreciate all you are doing here, and you have been an instrumental part in engaging many people in an intelligent public dialogue forum. This is completely invaluable in such controversial issues as this, and i have given you many thanks in the time i have been writing to you and in this forum.

I disagree with the use of the term and Characterization of "The Shower Nuts".

I do not support such comments as part of my own mindset or opinion about the people opposing or debating this issue with me, or others like me, as well as many earnest and committed supporters of our cause, that like yourself, are equally as committed in attaining any form of equal rights status in this state, or in the world at large.

This is not a personal criticism. I just feel in my heart that such terms or language will only serve to inflame, and possibly take us a couple steps back in terms of public opinion about what represents mature and reasonable dialogue on such matters.

Any semblance to maintaining a higher path could potentially be compromised by using such language or characterizations, especially in such a sensitive and potentially explosive issue as this has become, and i do not agree with this kind of characterization at all.

My additional reasons for this. I do not like to judge or lay blanket judgements of others using labels of any kind if it can be helped.

We are all human beings and prone to strong emotions and strong feelings and the inescapable expressions of such.

I am guilty myself of having done such things in heated and soometimes emotionally charged moments, but generally try to avoid doing so.

It may only serve to strengthen another's negative or potentially negative view, when i am already faced with such labels and stereotypical misperceptions that i have to face and deal with quite painfully, and in every waking moment of my daily life as an openly transgendered woman in the public eye.

There MAY be many "nuts" out there - many full of judgement and vile hatred and spritual or theologic "justifications" that call me a freak of nature, a faggot, a loser, unworthy of God's love or equal social standing.

All because of what is inaccurately termed as a "lifestyle choice" by many of those, that simply have no educated or informed understanding of an "incongruent" "gender identity" whatsoever - either from personal experience or clinical education.

Walk in my shoes for a day - a well spoken, well adjusted, and extremely talented woman that has staked everything in her life - her home, her marriage, her social and professional standing and any sense of "male privilege", just to be true to herself and all those she loves, and willingly face the constant ridicule and humiliation of continuous public misperception, lies, hatred, distortion and entirely innacurate characterizations.

For no other reason than being "different" and invariably then, falling far outside of any supposed "moral", "ethical", cultural and theologic "norms", which some quite strongly feel have been utterly compromised by the existence of people such as myself in open society.

If i begin to lower myself to the same point as those that wish to use such language and judgement against me, then i am no better than any of them, and there is no longer a higher path for me to take.

Lastly, i learned a lot of valuable things yesterday and last night as i watched people sign these petitions, and tried my best to speak with them in the dark and pouring freezing misery.

I learned that there are many people out here in this part of the State, that although not necessarily opposed to people like myself, per-se, - as Dr. Jacobs herself put it, but that those that signed, were determined to do so and only needed the opportunity to voice their personal opinions by so doing.

Yes, it hurts to watch and hear this. It goes right back to pervasively dogmatic misperceptions about people like myself that have been fostered for decades on top of decades.

But most importantly, i actually began to see the people for who they are as regards this issue, and why some may feel legitimate need for themselves to take such "opposition" to such legislation, or at the very least, bring it to a bigger public forum where more of the constituency of this county has the opportunity to weigh in and voice their feelings about such issues.

I guess the real point i am trying to make is, i discovered that many people i saw yesterday, as regards this particular issue, have NOT been educated fully about what has happened regarding the passage of this legislation, and why or how it even happened in the first place.

The ideal example is the first woman i spoke with yesterday - a grandmother. A blessed kind woman that engaged me with warmth and real intelligence, and one that although may have even been directed, or even used to a certain extent, because of her age, belief, or particular demographic.

She is a fellow citizen with valid opinions and feelings just like mine. It is not my fault nor the Fault of others like Dr. Jacobs or Theresa Rickman that someone like this fell between the cracks of public opinion where such legislation was concerned.

Easily swayed and influenced by the use of fear, whether accurate or not, and based on her strength of religious or spiritual convictions. Someone like this may therefore, be easily swayed, and taken fully advantage of, in this regard by the opposition, because of just exactly those kinds of issues.

She has a valid viewpoint,
even if it may in part lie in misconception, half truths, misinformation, fear, and/or lack of knowledge of such issue or specifically even about someone like myself.

She wasn't even aware that public hearings had in fact been held, and that had become part of her pitch, implying a potentially pervasive underlying belief about being blindsided by a county council "run amok" or some other such inaccurate belief.

I corrected her in an intelligent manner, and gave her a copy of my testimony from that very day during those same hearings..

How many more like her are out there, on the fringe of public awareness, just waiting to attach their name and their flag to any "worthy cause" that happpens to come along and hook into their particular belief set or individual fears ?

As a fellow resident of this county, and member of the constituency at large, she has every right to voice her feelings and opinions as i do, even if i know it may hurt my ability to be percieved as a positive and constructive human being, with potential just like anyone else.

I saw this again and again throughout the day as i watched professional, well spoken, and well dressed people - family people - that work hard to protect their children and their families and their lives and individual perceptions based solely on the information at hand.

I cannot condemn them, nor label them en masse, just because they differ in opinion or knowledge base, even if it may be entirely incorrect - even if it be based in lies and distortion and untruth.

This would even have to include even the most vociferous of opponents, simply if for no other reason they did not choose their parents, or choose the belief systems that they may have been raised with.

How can i judge anyone that i have not actually stood within their hearts and minds, and know for sure and certain what every thought, feeling, situation or agenda they have experienced that brings them to that point of belief within themselves and/or about others.

Unless you are a certified psychic, i must agree with the scriptures that clearly say - "judge not, lest be judged by the same..."

When people feel like they have not been heard on important issues, they get angry, upset,
and may legitimately feel disenfranchised from the political and social process(es).

This is where the problem really begins in some critically important ways.

If a referendum is called and this legislation is forced back onto the table for reconsideration, so be it.

That does not mean that i will not continue to oppose the opposition forces, whomever and wherever they are... - In fact, - this view has only served to strengthen my resolve in helping to educate others as to the truth of my personal experience, and how it relates directly to the issues and the difficulty(ies) at hand.

The rift of misperception in people's minds that continues to mischaracterize people like myself and why and how that have come to be in that place to begin with.

I am deeply opposed to bigotry in any form, and negativity, and the deprivement of human rights, and the perversion of human understanding that can otherwise potentially come from open, mature, compassionate, non-judgemental, and intelligent dialogue.

I hate the haters within a part of myself because of how they have hurt me almost every day of my life because i was ALWAYS "different". Even since the earkliest memories of my childhood. I cannot help that. But i cannot be like they are, or i will become no better than they have.

If there are so many people out there - fellow citizens that were late in catching the ball while it was rolling in this direction - i can't blame them no matter what the reason.

Call it socially irresponsible - but in today's world, with the amount of information being thrown at all of us, and the kinds of schedules most working families are forced to keep, it seems that a very large number of people simply dont or wont keep abreast of such issues until after the fact.

That's the point - when people find out or begin to learn of such issues and such legislations "after the fact", they may often feel, based on what i saw and heard yesterday, that they have been left out somehow or that something was slipped half under the carpet right under their noses.

They become incensed, and are then more easily influenced to oppose such issues. The opposition knows this, and has taken full advantage of this, as is their every right to do so, whether correct or not.

I don't agree with some of the tactics or "conditioning" i percieve may have used by such opponents, and i may even feel some of it is underhanded or less than ethical, but they ARE EFFECTIVE, and that's what really matters when it comes down to the public forum and the time to vote.

If i join in condemnation, judgement, and inflammatory language, blanket labels, or inflammatory rhetoric, then i am just as guilty as anyone else, and have nothing of ethical or moral value to stand on, from that point forward.

I wish Jim, that you would change the title of today's posting.

There are hard-working and intelligent people out there that signed these petitions yesterday, and all they really want is to protect their families, their children, and their sense of self as regards being fellow citizens.

All of this in a time where such values of solidairty as a people - ONE people - the AMERICAN people -has been splintered and fractioned and factioned in a million different ways.

Many of these folks may not take kindly to being referred to as nuts, especially if they have kids, and have learned to be fearful for their safety or protection for any reason, valid or not.

This will happen in a culture that IS riddled with the advances and very real threat, from many very real predatory types out there that would do them harm if they could.

i even learned valuable lessons from Dr. Jacobs about where she really stands on this issue and some of the why. I have to respect that, whether i like it or not.

If it should come to referendum, then so be it. If it should be that the law needs to be re-written, so be it. I myself could have a bigger or better part in that process, and should it come to that, i fully intend to be involved if i can be.

It is MY life. These ARE my rights, and i WILL continue to fight for them, and in every way i can within my abilities to do so.

If this law is pulled out, I WILL do everything i can to see it reinstated, even if it has to once again be amended.

That is my right as a fellow citizen and fellow countryman(woman)...

Maybe a new law can get the same things acomplished but make more people feel better about the way it is handled, or more sense of comfort that their safety or sanctity has not been compromised in some way or another that has not been heretofore fully addressed. I do not know.

I will NOT go away because some may wish it. I WILL fight for my rights, and i WILL speak out in the face of hatred, lies, bigotry, distortion and continued mis-education about these issues and about people like myself at every appropriate opportunity.

I AM, unfortunately, one of the "kinds of people" in question, in the minds of many people that simply have not been better educated on this issue or about people like me.

This is about my actual life more than all of them put together,
and as it directly impacts my life from a very real and very functional standpoint in terms of social perception, as well as my ability to survive in a world full of extremely hostile perceptions, and all too common misperceptions about people like myself.

I am more vulnerable to hatred, humiliation, compromise of my personal safety and comfort, and violence, than all of the other groups put together no matter what they may say.

I have been followed, i have been stalked, i have been harassed, embarrassed, humiliated, disrespected, and discriminated against, and insulted one way or another day after day.

I have been laughed at and humiliated for years because of people's cruel-hearted ingnorance and biotry, fear of their own humanity, and their own sexuality and that of others.

I know this because i have to actually LIVE through it every day.

All i can, and all that i should ever strive to do, is to help educate people better that are willing to be open hearted and open minded. I must and WILL deeply and fearlessly challenge, oppose, and expose the falsehood of those that are not, and so that everyone feels like they had a fair shot at the issue(s) from a more balanced viewpoint.

Many thanks always,
Lovingly always,


I Am,

Maryanne A. Arnow


Maryanne Arnow said...
Hi all -

just wanted to dig in here and respond to some of what i saw and heard today and in the last couple of days this week.

Some of the things i have heard this week and today were no more than lies, distortions, even direct insult and inconsideration, or incomplete and innaccurate assertions at best.

I will give a (long)bit of a detailed narrative of what has happened for me in the last 2 or 3 days, and from a differing view than Jim's.

Part of this, is because i actually heard from a woman i confronted today at the Rockshire Giant in Rockville, that she had been called by a man (Jeff) that i have talked to at least twice now, at two different locations, in two days, and that had supposedly told her that he was "intimidated" by me.

This is The very same man shown hugging me, in a picture from Saturday, published on this very site...

Her partner at Rockshire i met, also was very rude and very insulting and even said (again, a nice, morallly and ethically correct Christian lady)

Within the first five minutes of our conversation, she said -

"YOU look just like a clown" -

i guess, just to be mean and throw one below the belt...

OK - so I'm in jeans, a baseball cap, and denim jacket with a black and very conservative sweater under that. Normal but fashionable and well-fitting boots for cold weather.

Now i wonder if she's going to go around and misrepresent everything she saw in me, and tell everyone how she met this ridiculously dressed "guy" that thinks (poor sick thing - ohh sooo concerned for my poor soul and poor sick mind) "he's thinks he's a girl"... far as i know, i have never seen a "clown" in jeans, very natural makeup, conservative earrings, no nail polish, and a denim jacket - and getting compliments earlier this afternoon from someone i didn't even know - a beautiful and well dressed woman at a coffee shop - about my age - - how much she liked my boots and where did i get them from, etc. - you know - normal girly talk in public between any two women that may have never met before...

and this person of such superior moral and ethical standards is calling me a "clown" in front of others in public, and telling me i look nothing like a girl and i "never can and Never will". A nice, "polite", well mannered and Mature Christian woman.

And that was in the very beginning of our exchanges before the heated debated started many minutes later...

Absolute in my face lies and total disrespect and total refusal to not refer to me in the male pronoun even though i asked maybe a dozen times to please extend that civil courtesy to me.

I asked this, since that it is, in fact, the WELL-KNOWN reality of my ENTIRE public and private and professional life. I dont live as any sort of male now - not ever - havent for years now...have no desire to, either...

Her partner at this table told me (Jeff) had called her on the phone and talked with her about how he was now "very upset" and he had felt "intimidated" and was very upset about all of the lies and the pictures posted here on this site and how his words had been "distorted".

On Both occasions that i had met this same person this week, he was extremely warm, very friendly and peaceful, and both times, with witnesses, he and i parted with hugs and mutually very warm sentiments because we had BOTH actually listened to one another, and had BOTH learned something from it.

So Here's how it goes, starting from Friday afternoon when i first met him. A very nice guy.

Friday, the 15th, - late afternoon, maybe about 5 PM or so. I arrived at the Lancaster County Dutch Market in Germantown, looking for petitioners to engage and prevent from spreading any further lies and micharacterizations about this issue, or any members of the T or LGB communities at large.

I had learned of the likelihood of their presence there because of memorandum intercepts from Ruth Jacobs and Theresa Rickman to all of their supporters organizing and manning the petition drives.

This had been passed on to me, and others such as Dana Beyer, Dan Furmansky of Equality Maryland, JimK, and all the rest of the good folks on this blog in support of upholding the law that has been passed, as well as many other forums that i and others like myself are connnected with all over the state and country.

These memos clearly showed what areas the CRC and CRG would be targeting.

I found them both interesting and scary. They seemed to really be targeting areas where high concentraions of older voters and more conservative types would be, as well as areas that have a lot of families with children.

Good political and strategic thinking, but nonetheless, obviously targeting certain demographics - the most easily swayed and influenced by the kind of fear, lies, and misperceptions our opponents seem determined to sell to the general public at large to make their point at whatever cost or means.

I dont say that to be mean. It's very personal to me. It's difficult to keep one's emotions in check, especially if you believe that everything you stand for as an individual is being completely or even partially misrepresented by others for any reason at all.

So I arrive at the Dutch market Friday and there is a table with signs, and at least two people obviously collecting signatures.

I called Dr. Dana Beyer and told her i am about to go and engage with them, and will let her know if i need any help.

I parked and walked over to the Market, where they have a nice table set up with clipboards, signs, handouts and flyers of at least 3 or 4 different types. There are two men working here, one man of color, one white male - 40's to mid 50's. I am dressed well, and usually very comfortable and conservative.

I'm in blue jeans, nice winter boots, flat sole. no heels - comfy and warm but cute and totally "mainstream" - baseball cap in the cold, my hair pulled back - Natural.

"Normal" for any professional woman, and true "girly girl" in her early forties (like me) trying to make the best with what she's got to work with.... Just like almost any other woman in America does every day of her life..

Very much always in season and in very reasonable style, and i'm no "drag" queen by any means, by ANYONE that ACTUALLY knows me personally.

This includes family, friends (90% straight, mainstream folks, professional associates -(fellow chefs, mostly straight guys that know the difference, and many real women and "normal" biological female friends that think i have truly great, but very unobtrusive style.

I am self-posessed, super self-confident, highly outgoing, generous to a fault, obviously very comfortable in my own skin, and generally known to be a VERY warm and hospitable person. I am also a very emotional person. Have always been. Deeply sensitive, empathic, and also sometimes easily hurt. Like that would be unusual for any woman ?? yeah, right...

OH - and my wife - a "normal" biological woman - beautiful and intelligent. My best friend and soulmate, and still married more than 10 years already.

So i walk over to these guys, and get them to talk to me. Look them both in the eyes and ask them to explain what they are doing and why. At first, neither of them even guessed i am trans - so that should tell you something right there - they're warmly greeting me with hello ma'am - would you like to sign this petition ? etc...

I want hear what they have to say, see if can actually get them to tell me a fallacy or distortion before either figure out that i am not there to sign it. If they do, that means that they are telling lies to everyone else they have talked to. Hundreds of people, probably.

It's not that i am calling these guys liars, either - it's that they have been given half of a story to tell the to the rest of the general public, and a badly distorted half at that.

It has played on their greatest fears and concerns as good citizens and fathers and family men. I understand this.

They deeply beleive in what they have been told, and because it plays so deeply on their most basic human fears as dads, husbands, and community members -

and so of course, they are going to swallow almost anything they've been fed, and then regurgitate this mass on people that are just as truly uninformed from all sides of the issue as they themselves apparently are -

It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle of lies and negativity that effectively and eventually energizes and galvanizes hundreds and thousands of people to take action to do whatever it takes to "prevent all the monsters(metaphorically speaking) from getting at them and their kids"...

Their names are Max - a tall, broadshouldered, well dressed man of color in his forties with a slight accent. Very well spoken and friendly, but very firm, and a booming voice, especially when agitated...

The other fellow - a much slighter man - white, early-mid fifties, about my height - maybe 5'9 or so -casually dressed - a baseball cap and tennis shoes w/jeans and a jean jacket. Very warm, very polite, well mannered and very softly spoken. Easy to talk to. Nice clear blue eyes and a good genuine smile.

The kind of guy that ANYONE would like, if they just met and exchanged basic pleasantries on the street or at the store. A veteran too, i think.

They made an excellent team because they were well balanced, and contrasted and complimented each other quite well.

I got Max to actually inform me that this law had been passed without any amendments, that the public had been "uninformed", and that the "8 member council" had "just decided to pass this bill into law" and "impose their will" on the rest of the county's residents.

I asked if there had been public hearings on this matter, and he told me that there had, but that they had been played down and under-publicized. That's 3 for 3 right there.

It just so happens that i am carrying copies of my very own testimony at county council from one of the public hearings on the matter back in October of this past year.

It also happens that myself as well as many other Transgender women from all over the area got a fairly considerable amount of media coverage during that time.

I alone was on newschannel 8, an abc news 7 segment, and had a half page article with a big color photo of me at my home, published in the Washington Post at that time as well - Written by reporter Ann Marimow - she wrote a fair and excellent article. A Sunday edition no less -

Do you know how many people get the Sunday edition of the post and watch those channels ? And that was just me...Oh yeah - forgot about the detailed Gazette article from that time as well.

Ok - now the bill was amended, several times, and went through the usual channels to get it passed. Just like every other bill that has ever gone through the council. Now they have people out here telling fellow citizens things like these distortions and it gets me upset. real upset.

I thank them, take some literature, leave, go and get my briefcase, call Dana & tell her what's going on, and then walk back and begin the debate and dialogue with these guys - two to one.

I engage them both and stay that way for at least a full hour until help arrived in the form of Mr.Teacher Man - from right here on the blog. Dana Beyer has called in some support for me, but i really have my hands full until that time.

I started out by introducing myself and politely telling them that i am here to prevent and interfere with their activities in any way i possibly can. That usually creates kind of a shock for a moment or two -

Max imediately begins to address me in the male pronoun. At first it is really quite rude. not really mean, just patently and disrespectfully rude. He's a very intelligent guy, and speaks very well. Likes to think he knows all aspects of the issue and the law itself from inside and out.

If that were true why did he already tell me at least three things that were not true, just to begin with?

Not only this, but he is DEAD sure the law was never even amended before p[assing], and just keeps pounding on that point and how he knows his rights as a citizen and will see it come to real public opinion and that the language is so vague that it needs to be re-written.

He honestly feels violated, and has somehow been convinced by SOMEONE else that the council just quietly slipped one under the rug right under his and everybody's nose on this one, and has no problem convincing others of this distortion as well.

He insists now that he is not biased or discriminatory towards folks like me - and i believe him. He really is a nice guy - he tells me about discrimination because of his race, and that he knows what something like that feels like.

i totally agree and he says but that is not the issue - i believe he honestly believes that, too..

He is still being very polite, but now becoming SOOOOO zealous and forceful that it's becoming harder by the second for me to reason with, discuss, and reach past any of the rhetoric he just keeps running over and over, like a reel to reel tape stuck on repeat...

i have also engaged Jeff at the same time. Got both of their attention and begin to tell them about me, people like me, and why all of this hurts me very directly as a fellow citizen and since i actually AM one of the "sorts of people", in question now.

This IS actually about MY life in more personal ways than it will ever be for either of them, or any of you for that matter, unless you are transgendered and have to face what i face every day of my life.

Max picks up the copy of the council testimony - the final draft i guess, and printed in such a manner that it does not show, anywhere that i can find in it, where it HAD BEEN previously amended using the standard [[bracketing]] where ever it has had language first added, and then OMITTED on later AMENDED drafts BEFORE a vote for passage.... hmmm.. how interesting is that ?

SOMEONE had to give them these materials, explain them in an INNACCURATE manner, and told them exactly how to use them for maximum effect.

This guy is literally telling me to my face that "this bill passed and that it has NEVER been amended" and "that the public never had a fair chance to weigh in on the issue".

He actually said that - MAX - if you are out there - you KNOW we left on very good terms, but please do not deny you were telling people that, because you WERE.

A lie. A distortion, a main selling point of your pitch.
Right in front of the face of a transgendered woman fighting to for her life to survive in this county and this culture.

One that was actually at the freakin' hearings in front of a FULL council chamber, WITH media coverage, and giving testimony that IS now public record..It's been published in it's entirety on this very site, as a matter of fact....

I ask him if they were aware that Dr Jacobs was actually asked by councilmembers to admit, for the RECORD, that she has no clinical expertise or direct clinical experience in matters of gender change, and that this is not her field of practice whatsoever.

She stood right next to me the whole time and never even acknowledged me as a human being that day, five months ago.

I actually like her after speaking with her in person last week. I just dont like what she and others are doing. but that was about as rude as it gets. I even tried to greet her that day at hearing, and was ignored as if i didnt even exist. i dont deserve to be treated that way - no matter what your "moral basis" is.

I also dont deserve to be lied to, disrespected, and lied about, by people that have no experience or generally correct personal or clinical knowledge of my personal experience as a human being in this life. Yes, that makes me angry as hell. It would you, if it were you too.

Unless you can truthfully say you are actual witness to my (or anyone's) heart and mind, and my entire life's thoughts, feelings, and personal motivations, as long as i have been alive, then you might just consider backing it down. Someday, you might just be opposed and exposed as giving false witness to another person's life, and in every way possible.

So we continue our debate. I won't stop trying to go point by point to debunk their fears, show them the distortions, and face statements like - "then so what are you afraid of" if it goes back up for referendum.

Max is telling me that if it does, then it will be rewritten more clearly, with more public input, and then everyone will be happy and the CRG and CRC and everyone else will pack up and leave it alone for good. He actually said that too.

I'm a pretty fearless girl, by almost any standard, and i dont fear the public being better informed if thats the case, and in fact i welcome the opportunity to tell even more people the truth of this issue and the realities of severe discrimination and total misperception that we face every day in our lives. More than glad to.

What i DO fear though, is that since there is no protections on the Federal or State levels should anyone wish to discriminate against me in housing, workplace, and other public services (this constitutes about 99% of the actual legislation - the REAL heart of the issue) and yes - use of public facilities as are APPROPRIATE to MY gender - -

i fear that i, and everyone like myself in any way will have to wait what - ANOTHER year ?? Longer ? Longer before i have any legal recourse backed by any existing law that would prevent me from being discriminated against in any of those critically important areas of basic survival ?

Sure - i think i'll just kick back and wait around for everyone else to decide if i can have equal civil and human rights just like every other human being in this country is already entitled to have...

Sounds like big, big, fun to me...

I'm supposed to accept that as reasonable, when people like me face blatant discrimination, distortion, and lies, in every facet of public life for years now, and without any possibility of legislative recourse whatsoever. very nice. very thoughtful and reasonable. HAH!

So we continue. I have managed to get Jeff's attention and actually talk to the fellow a little now. He is more open, warm, receptive. Less excited. very calm, very reasonable and willing to listen to my side. Max is continuing his pitch and getting a few more signatures here and there.

I'll stop every now and then and ask people not to sign it, and hand them my own flyers that ask them not to, and why the logic and the oppositions' assertions are hugely flawed.

I tell people they are about to affix their legal signature to a document of public record without actually understanding BOTH sides of the issue, instead of the ONE and ONLY side they have been barraged with, in a well funded, and heavily advertised ((radio ads, robocalling the entire county with professionally recorded messages, print ads, etc..)) -

...and well organized scare tactics campaign, that effectively capitalizes on the most fundamentally horrific fears of any parent, husband, wife, dad, mom - that cares for children and each other.

I can barely pay my own bills and i'm supposed to be able to stand up to THAT ? That's fair, right ?

So - we continue our debate, dialogue, and sometimes emotionally heated exchanges.
I tell them things like - "if the kind of "predatory" people wanted to dress up in dresses, and do the things they say they will - they could have just as easily done that before the law was passed as they could now.

No difference. but they say the law will make it impossible to differentiate between those actual transgender citizens like myself that have every right to use the same facilities as every other person does, and those rapists, predators and pedophiles that wish to use women's clothes as a cover for their activities.

I tell them that the typical M.O. of pedophiles, and other predatory types, being very well documented and researched in this county, is typically very much under the radar. Why ? so they wont get caught doing all the nasty things they do. Reasonable, right ?

So now, suddenly just because this law is passed, they are all going to suddenly change their effectively predatory behavioral patterns, and engage in one of the highest profile kinds of activity that they have little or no or hope of pulling off to begin with.

Behavior which also is the most very likely kind of behavior which would allow them to get caught, captured, exposed, arrested, and stopped from obtaining their goals. Makes sense, dosen't it ?

I talk to them both about the real differences between Transgender people, and what about female to male transgender people (how come no one ever talks about THAT part of the equation, by the way ?) I talk to them about how that differs in almost all cases from gay, bi, or other.

What about people born with BOTH gender characteristics ? I talk to them about the term "lifestyle choice" and what an utter fallacy that entire term is, in relation to a person's actual Gender Identity.

This one i know better than either of them - being a child of about 4 years old, and in stunning emotional and mental awareness and anguish of this situation even at that age - thats flies right in the face of all arguments about it being a sexualized "lifestyle choice"...

I talk about and defend any gay person on that point and how most of them could not possibly fit the behavioral patterns of predatory males, and why in the hell would a gay man even consider trying to invade the ONE place, that they are SURE to find the very gender that they desire the very LEAST.

They had never though about any of these things, either. We are still debating. I am still doing everything to interfere with their getting additional signatures, and trying to literally plead with people about "please research the issue more thoroughly before they sign such a document", and that it could not possibly be fair to make decisions and judgements based only on one representation, of one distorted side of the entire issue.

I tell both of them that they should be insulted by being used in such a manner, and allowing themselves to be led by the amplified fears, agendas, and distortions they have most obviously been given by others that made sure to only address one specific aspect of a much larger issue.

They are obviously both very intelligent men that are just trying to do what they believe is right and proper based on the information they have been given..

I have no beef with that at all.
After about 45 minutes of this, i can see that Jeff is asking intelligent and personal questions. HE is now asking ME questions. I have managed to give them both enough new infornmation and viewpoint that at least one of them is starting to really think about it in larger terms.

I really can see it in his eyes. He is becoming unsure of the accuracy of what he has been shown and told in almost every way.

He is also a good Christian man - a truly good man - anyone can see that about this guy - he is a nice man and it shows in his willingness to be openhearted, considerate, quietly spoken, and open minded.

He at least begins to stop the improper and rude pronoun usage after i show him my valid and legal state identification, my real and full legal name, my business card, and repeatedly appeal to his sense of manners and common decency to PLEASE respect a request politley and repeatedly made to him, by a fellow human being and fellow resident and neighbor in the same county.

I give them both copies of my Testimony to the council, as well as copies of my follow up letter to the council (also published on this site - please see the article entitled "A Test for the Media" - and i never let up for one single moment. Finally help arrives -

Mr.Teacher Man. Dana Beyer made sure to send him to help me out.
A wonderfully warm and well spoken young guy that is apparently an actual teacher, and that has a master's in linguisitcs amongst other talents.

We have never met before, but the connection is immediate and he jumps right into the debate. Now at least we are on even terms and i am no longer outgunned and outpaced.

Max has been on the phone at least once, i'm fairly sure he has told his people that we are there. He gets a call and tells Jef they are done and "have another assignment" begins to pack and leave.

We continue to engage them. Ended up standing there and peaceably talking amongst the four of us for at least another half an hour.

Jeff and Max BOTH very honestly THANK me for helping to open their eyes and minds a little wider about all the differing sides of this issue that they had never even considered before.

They openly admitted there were a LOT of things that I - that we - had effectively called into question for them in such an intelligent manner they they would really have no choice now but to look at things a little differently - a much more expanded perspective than they had before they started out that day, in their signature gathering efforts.

Max is still very obviously committed to his point, and wants to see it come another forum of public debate as is his right...

Jeff seems at times now even to be right on the fence, and even seems a little wondering if he has actually made the right decision in supporting this cause...

I can see it in his face and his eyes - we are laughing sometimes now, sometimes still very serious though - this is serious stuff and we all know it...

Earlier in the conversation, he admitted he had never in his life actually met, talked to, or really studied any of the issues, clinical or otherwise about transpeople like myself.

I have talked to them about different male predatory types, non-predatory male hetero cross-dressers, female to male trans issues, and everything else under the sun in terms of human gender and sexuality.

Things that, it seems to me, the CRG, CRC, and it's many conservative allies, might apparently never ever discuss with them, and from what i can gather,
possibly not from a positive viewpoint of anything even resembling acceptance, or human compassion and civility toward people like me that this most directly impacts.

We eventually part ways. BOTH Max and Jeff give me real, warm, and earnest hugs and handshakes.

No hard feelings left at all, and there are many witnesses that have watched this, and seen this whole scene turn from a very heated debate, to warm, peaceful, mature, and open discussion and dialogue..

Jeff looks me dead in the eye and tells me bluntly i have really made him think about this in ways that "have really made him question certain things" and that he has been deeply impacted, and also very touched by this in a very unexpected way.

He told me "he had realized i had seen a great deal of pain in this life and he could really see it in my eyes and in my face".

He said that, and did so in a truly compassionate and very sensitive menner that almost took me quite off guard.

They both PROMISED to read the information i gave THEM. Told them to call me anytime they want. They have my business cards and i would welcome further dialogue with them, and they can obviously tell i really mean it from the heart.

Jeff flatly tells me he really likes me - he is being light and real and very straightforward and honest about his thoughts and feelings.

I deeply welcome that from anyone that is not being mean intentionally rude, or abusive towards me..

He and i honestly connected, and it deeply impacted him -

especially since i have effectively called his entire line of reasoning about this issue, and human gender and sexuality in general.

Myself and MrTeacher man have so effectively called it into question, to the point that he actually is expressing profound appreciation to me about this, still asking me questions, and telling me he likes/really appreciates the way in which i did it.

We hug at least twice, and MrTeacher Man even helps him load their table into the back of one of their cars.

I dont really think that sounds very much like what i heard today, about me supposedly intimidating and "deeply Upsetting" this very gentle and intelligent fellow.

He gladly shook my hand, he GLADLY and WARMLY hugged me as we parted company.

He told me earnestly, and with a great deal of real emotion showing, that he honestly appreciated all of the new information, and mass of new insights he had - they had BOTH been given.

Even Max echoed some of that last sentiment.

Intimidation ??!!! What a disgusting insult, and once again, a total distortion of the facts, and the truth, of what really has occurred....

To be continued.....

i'll be writing about More lies, ridiculous and insulting assertions, and total distortions exposed later today in the next narrative, leading up through yesterday - Sunday, as it is now 7:00am Monday and i still have not slept good yet, really for days now...

Maryanne Arnow said...
OK - Back to the keyboard for another round of my rampant ramblings that narrate what i have seen and done this weekend, with whom, and where....

Saturday, Feb 16th.

As a result of the intercepts from the CRG/CRC, i already knew where one of the petition gathering stations was going to be that day as well.

One of them, literally right next door to where i live, was going to be set up at Northwest High School, here in Germantown.

Great - as an openly TG woman living in a nice area of the county, what i really need is for all of my neighbors and fellow local citizens seeing or hearing words like "predator" and "pedophile" and phrases like "protect our kids" appearing even in the same paragraphs as the word Transgender, of ANY media, flyers, internet sites, and also coming from the mouths of respected local fellow citizens, and parents with families.

Yes - I will go there - I MUST go there, because more ignorance and unwarranted fear is now being put in the minds of all the communities that literally surround MY home.

I arrived at 12:45PM -
the time that they were supposed to be starting.

The main reason they had targeted that school on a Saturday afternoon was because Mr. George Zhang, a local resident and family man, runs a Chinese school there on Saturdays, apparently with the full cooperation of Northwest High and the school board.

In the CRG memo intercept that i recieved, it was clear they had a specific goal. Families with children. It was worded specifically to highlight that idea.

I had myself gone to the school the previous afternoon, on the advice of Dana Beyer, to speak to the Principal, Ms. Morrison, and find out whether the school knew that Mr. Zhang would be using his school for a primary target of this petition drive.

I spoke to one of the assistant principals, gave her my card, as well as copy of County Council testimony and other raw facts which directly refute the distortions being made to the public about people like me, and this issue in general.

She said she would try to get it to the principal and have her call me. She did not know about the petition attempt to be held at her school, but could not give any additional information on how to stop it.

So - back to Saturday. I arrived just before 1PM, drive up the main lower entrance where at least a hundred cars are already parked (parents of the Chinese school children, i assumed), and dont see anyone at first. Then i see him.

He is INSIDE the school's main entry hallway on that level, with the usual table and flyers and big signs in huge block letters.

I was dumbfounded. i didn't think people were actually allowed to conduct such political petition activites INSIDE of a public school building.

I had a sinking feeling and didn't know how to address this problem. I parked, called Dana Beyer, and told her what i had seen.

She advised me that she would start contacting people in the school system to find out whether he was there legally or not, and i told her i was going to go and engage him to see what i could do.

She will call me back as soon as she finds out anything.

I walk into the school lobby, and find him with his table.

Along the front there is a HUGE sign that says in big blue block letters "PROTECT OUR KIDS", as well as all the usual distorted propagandistic materials provided to him via the CRG/CRC. He also has copies of the Bill.

Once again, as at other locations, he does not recognize me as anything but a typical woman with an interest in finding out what he is doing there.

The school is very busy, and there are people of all ages - high school kids outside, the hallways are filled with kids as far as i can see for various extracurricular activites.

Again, my mind and my gut emotions just cringe to think about the damage being done by these lies, and mischaracterization about people like me, as well as all of the distortions being fomented about this bill in general.

He does not read me as trans at all. Starts his petition pitch.

I ask him a few question to see if i can catch him in any lies - just as i have done at other location in previous days. He starts out by saying would i like to you to sign a petition against a "BAD bill" that has been passed by the county council.

So far, i have successfully been able to document in ALL of my entries that almost EVERY single one of these supporters i have initially spoken with this entire week,, that were initally unable to read me, are opening their pitches to the general public with incomplete, ambiguous, or entirely inaccurate information.

This is also obviously colored by that person's individual opinions about the matter.

That's bad - real bad. That means that if I am only one person that has been given distorted and/or misleading information right from the start of their pitch, then the same thing has already been done to thousands upon thousands of other fellow citizens.

Hurts me personally and professionally in every way possible.. Hurts bad and makes ne very angry with how unfair and untrue they are being in this effort.

I have enough difficulty already tying to just get though my days in public and professional society, and now thousands of fellow citizens have been given even more distorted or inacccurate information by these folks.

Information, that only serves to reinforce the common stereotypical and entirely incorrect misperceptions still publicly prevalent in most people's minds about people like me.

Just makes me want to cry, and it hurts and makes me very angry that people can be this way.

I catch him up in at least 2 lies right off the bat, The same ones i have heard from other petitioners already this week.

I asked him if there had been any public hearings. He said no. He said the "8 member council" had just gone ahead and gotten this bill passed without proper public input or amendment.

Same exact things i heard from the guys up at the farmers market the previous night.

Since all three of these statements are patently untrue, it makes me really wonder who is training these people to parrot these lies to the public under the auspice of responsible moral and ethical citizenship.

Their trainers must surely know they are spreading lies, and at the very least, deeply bending the truth just enough into the range of ambiguity, that they know it will fly, and get into people's heads when they hear these kinds of things.

So i start talking to the guy. He gets it after a minute, and starts referring to me as "sir".

Since almost everyone i ran into this week addressed me in the proper female pronuns to begin with, and then once learning i am Trans, switch immediately to rude lack of proper civil acknowledgement.

Gets brutally exhausting and frustrating day after day. I correct him on that and it takes him sveral minutes of discussion and repeated requests before he gives me that acknowledgement back.

I can't take his personal ignorance about the issue personally, and i cannot judge him for his lack of information.

He has possibly been fed every possible misperception as his only understanding of people like me.

Now he is having to deal with it, this very moment, when he is being faced with having to actually speak to a transperson for the first time in his life, that he is actually aware of.

The discussion is civil at first, but changes drastically the second i call him on his lies about lack of amendments and lack of public hearings and lack of publicity.

i give him copies of my testimony, follow-up letters, and try to tell him about all the media coverage that actually DID occur during that time.

Now he gets a little rude and dismissive and disconnects from me.

He's not being mean, just cold and starts ignoring me, as he continues to assault every family that come through the door with their kids with his lies and innacuracies.

He tells me i am harassing him, to stop talking to him. I am trying to appeal to his sense as an obviously intelligent and well-respected person in his community.

I have caught him dead cold in lies - he dosent think he IS lying, and that made him very angry.

I dont ever call him a liar but i DO try to tell him he needs to PLEASE stop telling people these distortions and untruths.

The more i appeal to his reasonable intelligence, the more frustrated he gets.

He has several unfair advantages. First - he in INSIDE the school - thereby giving an irrefutuable validity to what he is doing in the minds of all that know him, and anyone else that runs across him as they enter the school from that side of the building.

He is a fluent native speaker - Chinese. I know how to say hello and thanks in Chinese and that's it. He has signs printed in Chinese.

He is dealing with people that know him, and that he can quickly and easily influence to listen to him and he knows it and has taken full advantage of this on every level.

You better bet that the CRC/CRG knew this too, and were counting on his effots to be highly prized.

So - what am i - one transwoman alone and outpaced by his cultural connection with most of these folks. What am i supposed to do ?

I continued to do exactly what i always do. Talk to him without letup - not fight, not scream, not make a threat of any kind.

i compliment him and try to appeal to his sense of decency. I try to talk to everyone that enters the hall and give them my handout before he can get to them. He is still racking up quite a few signatures.

I am literally fighting for my life in the court of public opinion, against people and organizations that have taken the upper hand by being underhanded, and used sheer distortions to sell their points and their campaign to the fear in the minds of concerned parents everywhere.

You had better believe i am going to continue to engage their efforts, and try to prevent as many signatures as possible.

I ask him if he actually has permission to be there doing this. He seems to think so, as he must be able to run his school with the obvious agreement with the Nortwest High's Administration.

I cant stop this guy, and i am very nervous about getting into a heated debate with him, inside of a school building with people and families milling around everywhere.

I talk to Dana Beyer again. She has been trying to contact school board members or anyone in the county system that can tell us whether he is there legally or not. Dana seems to feel strongly that he is not.

Apparently it is quite unethical and possibly altogether illegal to hold such a political petiton drive, much less a completely dishonest one, under the auspice of a school run by him or any other person in this situation.

So, either he was told falsely that this was OK, but really, the proper permissions were probably never really given by the school or the board.

Maybe he knows this already, and is taking a risk in cooperation with CRG/CRC to try and get as much as he can before getting clamped down on.

Either way - this is dirty pool, and the public needs to know that they are stooping to these tactics.

I actually do like this guy - he is well spoken, and capable of being intelligent, civil, and friendly - and we keep going from tacit and total disagreement to moments of actual intelligent discourse -

- but he is determined, and he believes firmly in his cause and will not be stopped for any reason.

He took my copies of the Council testimony and put them aside immediately without even glancing at them, after he had flatly told me there had been no such public hearings and little publicity.

i call him out on it. He suddenly get's defensive and says "i didnt say that, you are twisting my words"....

Who in their right mind says such things, when someone walks right up to you and says - uh - hold on for a moment - I WAS ACTUALLY THERE and gave testimony my very own self - and YOU, as an intelligent community member, don't even want to look at the hard evidence being put right here in front of your face...

Blinded like fearful sheep. Disgusting and horrifying.

Talk about programming. these poor people have had a real number done on them by the fear they have been fed with.

Talk about predators. What about preying on innocent people's fear -good hardworking folks that have been attacked by the predatory distortions, and blatant fearmongering from organizations like these ? My GOD, people. Can't you see what they have done here ???

A few minutes more and Dana calls me back and suggests that we tell him that we are getting in touch with school officials, and that he may wish to consider the fact that he might not be going about this in the right way, and there could be repercussions from this.

I tell him this in a very quiet and diplomatic manner. He now accuses me of "throwing "threats" at him" and gets VERY angry.

I try to tell him to just be reasonable about it - he might be collecting signatures which will be invalidated because he is going about it in an improper and possibly illegal manner.

Threaten him ? Good lord - i just tried to help him not get into trouble and he is calling it a threat.

He finally gets so frustrated that he angrily picks up the whole table - hastily slams it through the double doors, and literally slams it down so hard on the sidewalk outside the school doors that everything goes flying off it onto the ground - pens, flyers, clipboards - i try to help him pick his stuff up and put it back on the table -

Threatening huh ? here's an opposition member speading lies right in front of me, to neighbors in my own immediate community area, and im trying to help him pick up his materials from off the ground - because HE just lost control and slammed his own table down on the ground in rage right in front of everyone that was there...

yeah - i'm really threatening, allright.

- i even said - "i'm sorry - i really didn't mean for you to make a mess like that" he tells me to get away and dosen't want any help - - papers are now blowing across the parking lot...

i feel bad for the guy - kind of sorry for him at this point. I think he knows his bluff has been called, and the jig is about to be up.

He regains full composure in like a minute. Goes back to being somewhat pleasant even. He even engages me in more talk about the bill for a minute.

Then a man walks up - blue jeans, nice bomber jacket, sunglasses - he is not Chinese - i have a strange feeling this person might be here to help me ?

i haven't heard anything and as far as i know i'll be here alone with this man all day long.

He quietly asks Mr. Zhang what's this all about. He is all to happy to explain so i beat him to it and explain it from my viewpoint about workplace and housing and public services discrimination protections for people like myself finally being passed into law.

Mr Zhang listening without comment at all. This man turns to me and asks "are you Maryanne ?" i say yes - rather hesitantly, and he then smiles and introduces himself as Jim Kennedy -

I freaked. I almost jumped into the guys' arms. gave him a big hug and profusely thanked him for coming - i was stunned - Dana must've called him and asked him to come help me.

She knew i was getting frustrated and ovverrun by his language and cultural advantage from our previous calls.

A very pretty lady - shorter, sunglasses, in a nice coat and bright red scarf walks up - introduces herself as Chris - works with Jim directly.

She is a total fireball - just seething with energy and good humor and excitement. Give her a hug too and tell her so nice to meet her - She immediately wants to know if i have eaten anything today - has some snacks in the car - will be right back -

Jim takes out his camera and starts snapping pictures of Mr Zhang in front of the school doors. He turns his head and firmly says -"dont take pictures of me !" - "you can't take pictures of me" - "what are you going to do with that ?"

Jim tells him he is in a public place and cant legally stop him,
and that That's just the risk he had to take in doing this on pblic property.

Does anyone out there think it's a little funny ? - these folks are willing to stick their necks out there to do this for the CRG/CRC, but when faced with full public exposure of who they are, they get scared to death of something...

Fod God's sake please - if you are going to "publicly" "stand UP" for what you believe in, then why be afraid of who takes pictures -

what are you afraid of - what are you ashamed of ?

do you see me - one of the most villified, stereotyped, mispercieved, and hated of almost all human population segments, and here i am - using my real name, instead of all these "anons" out there - hiding in the darkness...

i'm not shying away from any cameras even though i know there are wackos and nut jobs out there that would love nothing better than to se me tortured, raped, maimed, killed, or shamed in any way possible -

do you see me hiding my face in fear or shame - DO YOU ??? NO!!! i have nothing to be ashamed of in standing up to these lies, and i am LITERALLY fighting for my very right to exist as a fellow human being, and a fellow citizen.

A minute later - i turn around and see another wonderful sight - my friend Cynthia - a stunning girl that hails from the Western Maryland area and that works here in Germantown.

She has driven all the way down from Hagerstown area to help beat back some of the tide of lies and distortions that we are all facing.

She is smart, very smart. Witty, warm, friendly, and VERY gentle, softspoken, and properly ladylike in every sense of the word. She walks over to where we are still talking with Mr. Zhang.

In another minute or two, a VERY big guy, dressed in a navy blue MCPS uniform sweater, pokes his head out the door. He has a radio on his shoulder and looks like police.

He looks at me, and then turns to Mr. Zhang and tells him flatly - " You have to leave, sir". You do not have permission to be here, you are not supposed to be doing this here on the school property". "You will have to move yourself and your materials all the way down to the edge of the school parking lot."

This is a BIG and very serious guy. There is no argument from Mr. Zhang. apparently the school board has now gotten wind of his illegal petition drive on school property and contacted security to have him removed. As it should be.

I leave Mr.Zhang with my usual offer of a handshake and no hard feelings. We are told by passerby about another table that is on the upper level of the school.

They have had TWO tables set up and illegally gathering petitions on school grounds. Just great. We all head for the upper level. Now its four of us.

I see an older and very well-dressed man - he is taking a folding table to his car out of one of the entrances. I know they must be the ones.

I call out to him politely - "sir - "sir" - he turns - i ask him if he knows anything about a petition - his face brightens immediately - sure - they were just getting some signatures - - - he begins his pitch.

An older woman - his wife - well dressed - nice fur coat and pretty hat - VERY conservative- joins him. I inform him who we are and why we are here. 5 to 10 minutes of debate engages.

They are tacitly pleasant, but deeply committed to the sense of what they are doing. We get them to listen to some of the real logic and different version of the "truth" than what they were led to belive.

They are almost listening, but it's too much for them. They are elder, and we are challenging the validity of everything they have been given to believe about this issue. I make sure the wife has my testimony and letters in her hand before they leave and i tell her -

"if you read this, it might not completely change your minds, but it will definitely expand your view of the real issue.

They are getting disgusted, are packing to leave as they have also been thrown out of the school, and they turn and walk away.

We all decide to leave the school now and we are going to head for Leisure World on Georgia avenue.

I called Dana and thank her profusely for her help in making the calls to school administration to get them all removed from here.

The rest is for you - Theresa - since you have told so many lies about me and Dana, and You Anons out there that actually believe what you have been told by her.

We all get to Leisure world at about maybe 3PM. We have 4 cars with me in the lead, because i know all the back roads.

We all see no one collecting petition signatures.

We decide on coffees - it's still pretty chilly and we have all been going pretty hard for most of the day so far.

Besides, none of us really know each other that well except for me and Cynthia. I have never Met Jim or his friend Chris before, and Cynthia has never met either of them.

We all decide to get some coffee, and sit and chat for awhile.
Cynthia and i are going to head back upcounty soon to try and find more people trying to get petitions signed.

We all go into the Starbucks, Christine very nicely treats us to whatever we want, and we get a table and all get comfortable and talk for awhile about everything we have seen and are still trying to get done. We laugh and joke and also talk about serious stuff, too. After about 15 minutes, Jim gets a call from Dana - she has just arrived at the same place.

I don't think she knew we were there because Jim said in a very happily surprised tone - - "yeah - all of us are right here - cmon in and join us ". Dana walks in a minute later and joins us.

I have a lot of questions for her about different legislative meanings and how this will go if they get their signtaures and get it to referendum. I ask her if that means that the entire law will be suspended.

I want to know this specifically because as it still stands right now,, someone like me still has NO legal anti-discriminations protection in workplace, housing, or public services, on the state OR federal levels..

So that means if they get this pulled, i will have to wait God knows how long again before i have any recourse, should i be discriminated against(a very commonplace occurrence for most people like us)...

We all sit and chat for another 20 minutes or so. It's getting late and we all have places to go. We leave the coffee shop and head for our cars. As we approach the Giant - i see a table - someone else says - hey - they're here -Sure enough - a petitions table.

I walk over and immediately recognize my friend Jeff - the same man that i connected so warmly with up at the farmer's market in Germantown the night prior.

He sees us - then he sees me and his face literally lights up - as does mine - i step out in front of the group, and say "well, if it isn't my old friend Jeff" -
i also say - "OK - so you Do know what is gonna happen now, right ?"

He smiles - warmly, greets me warmly with a big hug and a handshake, and i introduce him to everyone there by name.

Sounds like i really threatened him again, dosent it ? This place is packed with people - witnesses EVERYPLACE watching what is taking place. I start to talk to him.

I ask him if he had read what i had given him.

He told me that he had, and that it had almost convinced him to pull out and stop petition gathering.

He literally told me it had nearly brought him to tears as he understoood more fully the real issues that women like us face every day, in a society filled with hatred and ridicule.

Then he said, he "wasn't quite there yet" clearly meaning he was just right on the fence, as i had seen in his eyes the night before after we finished a wonderfully peaceful, warm, and very intelligent conversation at the Dutch market.

He flatly told me again that i had really had an impact on him, and that it had really opened his eyes and his heart a LOT.

I said "so what could we do now, to dissuade you from keeping going on this "?

Dana began to talk with him. As a doctor, and openly transgendered woman many years past her completed transtiton, she knows more about the realities, both clinically and personally than probably all of us combined.

She shared some of her knowledge and additional perspectives with him. It was quiet. Friendly. Open and entirely non-combative, Dear Liars.

I wasnt even aware that Jim was snapping pictures of the conversation.

Theresa said that Jeff is a good
5'11 tall. He's actually just slightly shorter than i am - and since i am about 5'9 1/2 and not even 160, that makes him nowhere near the fictitious heights that she gave about any of us.

Jim is standing behind me, above me, on the lip of the curb, shooting across and down over my shoulder. That means that the view makes it look like we tower over this guy.

Someone please contact this dear man that i know i made a real friend of, and have him call me, or get on this blog to settle this pack of lies and smears once and for all.

So we all continue to just casually and quietly talk - to each other - with Jeff - and he's talking to us - asking more intelligent questions to me and Dana both about all kinds of TG and human sexuality issues and about this law and the struggle we face in open society...

I step away as Dana continues to talk to him. I start talking with Jim and Chris and Cynthia amongst ourselves.

Every now and then i'll glance over, and Jeff will catch my eye and i KNOW he WANTS to talk to me some more.

We had made a very strong personal connection. Dana joins us, and Jeff has a chance to talk to Cynthia now - i turn to Jeff and say -

"Isnt this amazing - last night when I first met you, you had never seen or talked to any one like us, about any of these issues from OUR side of it before. And here we all are today."

""There are THREE highly intelligent, very professional, and well spoken, TG women that are the EXACT opposite of all the kinds of common misperceptions and stereotypes everyone has ever seen from things like drag shows and from Jerry Springer and other crap like that".

He smiled very warmly, and totally agreed in what seemed total amazement, and a happineess that could only have come from having his eyes and mind completely opened, past all of the lies he had been fed about us...

Sure sounds like harassment and bullying and intimidation to me...

He and Cynthia are now VERY quietly talking as the rest of us talk amongst ourselves several feet away at this point.

I walk back over, and he says in amazement that - "I like all of you, but VERY SPECIFICALLY, I REALLY like YOU the MOST"
because i really reached out to him and ""connected with him in a way that no one had ever done before"".

What an unbelievable bully i must have been, to illicit that kind of reaction from someone.

I must correct Jim on his narrative of what Jeff said from this point, as that was also lied about and distorted by Theresa, et al..

He tells us, yep - in fact - he is done. He says that he just cant do it anymore and that he is done.

He says that between my story and letters, the night before, and everything he heard today, that he just couldnt do it anymore.

He admitted there was the very real possibility that he'd now realized having this legislation pulled really could be actually hurting our lives, which are already more difficult and challenging in ways that most people will never know about or care to understand.

He is a Good Christian man, as i said before in my earlier narrative. He said that it all had nearly made him "weepy" that was his EXACT wording. "Weepy". He was almost at the point of tears. i almost cried. Cynthia was amazed.

Everyone else was happy and gave him hugs. He simply said that this had had such an effect on him, and had so deeply shifted his perspective about these issues that he really needed to "go home, take a long walk alone, and do some praying".

He really needed to much more deeply question the things he had been told that had led him to support this petition drive.

He said he had not walked alone for far too long - in the woods and paths near his home, and that he really just needed to have some time to "meditate" on this, and that he simply couldnt support their effort anymore that day.

We helped him pack up his table. Left with huge warm hugs and joyful sentiments all the way around.

He also took Cynthia's business card because she works in computers and he needed some help with something about that, i think.

I started talking to a homeless man - very nice - he had been standing there and had seen the whole thing - he said that he couldn't vote because of his past record, but that if he could, he would never sign something like that.

Asked me if i had any change to spare - a quarter or a little something so that he could get a beer and something to eat. He laughed and said at least he was being honest.

I laughed, and gave him a hug - I had 3 dollars in my purse and gave it to him. I had no more cash and was flat broke already.

He was stunned and thanked me profusely because it was so much more than what he expected.

Sure sounds like i am a thug and a bully, dosent it.

I hope Jeff contacts some of you folks or that he has a chance to see what i have written about him.

I literally am begging that someone will let him see what i have written about him.

I hope he calls me and we have a chance to talk and that he is brave enough to stand up and tell the truth to all of your vicious, lying, backstabbing, childish, and barbaric rubbish.

I have nothing to hide about what happened with ANY of your supporters, and it is ALL a pack of blatant lies and smear tactics.

Please see the last section for the full narrative about what really happened with the elder woman at Rockshire.

It's in this same section, just above this entry, in which i responded directly to Theresa Rickman's accusations and lies, and asked her to deal with me directly.

I once again opened the invitation to her to talk with me, and even be welcome in my own home, or ANY moderated forum of HER choosing.

Really sounds like i am afraid to deal straightforward, dosent it?

Dear anons - hiding in the darkness and afraid to show your selves - please read that before you spew any more lies, hatred, and mistaken characterizations about me or Dana again.



Maryanne A. Arnow

Next Section: my response to the lies this morning:

2/18/08 - Vigilance Blog:

Maryanne Arnow said...

Theresa -
since i have seen you respond on this blog - i have something to say. I just read the ridiculous lies you printed about me and Dana in your latest release this morning...

You didnt mention that the older woman that you mentioned - the 61 year old-grandmother, greeted Dana as in a very friendly manner as if she knew her personally, and was greeted back by Dana in the same way. Dana basically ignored her the entire time she was there except for that greeting, and talked with me instead. Then Dana left to go elsewhere after about 5 minutes of quiet conversation with me.

We did not "surround her", ( the older woman of 61, as you so aptly mischaracterized it.)

You also didnt mention that the other woman with her, was about my age, and probably a few inches taller than me. Since i am 5'9 and 1/2 - not even quite 5'10, and weigh maybe a whopping 155 if that when soaking wet, it kind of leaves the question, why would you lie about such a thing as my physical size, in order to get your point across ?

I have to look a full head height up at Dana myself, whenever i see her, so i know that you have lied about that.

After Dana left a few minutes later, and after exchanging pleasantries with the elder woman, i was then alone in that hall with two of your supporters.

Another decline to sign supporter, a VERY small woman stood outside and handed out her flyers very peaceably to potential signers of your petition.

It is not physically possible that one person - ME - then, could "surround" anyone as you have stated. one person cannot surround either one, nor two people at the same time.

that is simply physically impossible.

Since i know my own height and weight much better then you, you may wish to retract some of your assertions.

You also didnt tell everyone that even though i had a emotionally charged debate with your representatives, in which i was continuously insulted and disrespected by both of your supporters, they keot the debate going as much as i did. The elder lady even tried to psychoanalyze me and asked me very personal questuions about my family, my childhood, and told me there was something wrong with me and that i should go and get help to have it taken out of me. I notice no one mentioned any of this. You see, i was actually ther. You were have printed lies, some of which were witnessed as much as you say you have your own witness. whatever.

I was even called a crude and hurtful name to my face - an older Christian woman engaging in crude name calling nearly the moment we began talking.

When we were ALL finished and leaving the building at the very same moment, i reached out my hand to her, told her "no hard feelings, right - "we're just soldiers on the front lines doing what we need to do" - - which she took my hand, shook my hand, in front of 2 witnesses, and acknowledged me with a smile.

She didnt happen to tell you i also admitted to her face that i got emotional with her, and apologized for any offense, did she ?

Little bit different than what you described.

How come you didnt show the photo of Jeff giving ME a hug ? Too human or too compassionate to actually share such truth with your supporters ?.

That really stinks. I think what you did this morning was wrong, and dishonest and mispresentative. You have lied about myself and Dana both.

I would still once again like to extend my offer. You are welcome in my home or any other moderated forum of your choice, and expect to be treated with courtesy, hospitality, and mature intelligence.

Not lies, insults and distortions of people that you have never even met personally (me, for instance)....

This has already gone far enough. too far. I can take the insults, but not the very real lies.

At that point i must respond and ask that go about your goals in another way instead of printing dirty lying character assasinations of me.

Dont go acting all moral and then do something like that please. It's not right. You know it, I know it, and now, anyone that ever reads this blog, including yourself knows it.

Retract those please, and go about your business in an ethical manner.

I hold no grudge with you or any of your supporters - i dont agree with what your doing and i dont like being characterized as some illegitimate freak and all the other nice terms you and your people use to describe us instead of actually treating us with any form of civil decency and respect.

and as most of your people that have already met me will actually tell you - we have left in most cases, including with Dr. Jacobs on Tuesday Night - with very pleasant conversation under the circumstances, and a hug that SHE herself willingly gave right back to me as we parted copmpany that night.

She actually told me, in a very pleasant and non-comabtive manner, that she would be more than willing to continue dialogue with me, but that she had to get back to her practice due to things backing up on her like her billings (an exact quote, by the way) and that she agrees with me on mature intelligent dialogue instead of this constant childish rock throwing...

She said that maybe such dialogue would have to wait to take place until after all of this was over... I accepted that on the spot as she left, and thanked her very much for finally speaking to me with real decency and human acknowledgement.

Please do the same.

Another (Mr. Zhang at the chinese school) left me with a solid handshake and acknowledgement of no hard feelings or ill intent.

You should follow the example of some of your own folks that you have out here on the front lines.

Correct these lies please.

Thank you,


I am,

Maryanne A. Arnow

February 19, 2008 8:24 AM
Maryanne Arnow said...
Dear Theresa,

At last we almost directly exchange a little dialogue.

A pleasure to meet you at last.

If you go to the "Countering Petitions Section" where i have just given another full narrative, you will see where i have used quotation marks as much as possible to document as much of what i can remember that i actually heard and saw during these days.

It would be better if Jeff actually were able to tell me himself what you claim he has said about dealing with me.

It's just not possible that since i just published that report, within the last 45 minutes or so, and as long as it is, that you were able to read it, call him, tell him to read it, get this response from him, while you were still posting in other sections of the blog, and then write this in.

I found that highly questionable.

I am a very empathic and sensitive person. I have to be. I have always been.

The only way that someone like me can get past the minefield of various forms of disrespect, misunderstanding, abuse, and humiliation, is to have a good emotional radar, and know what is going on around you.

If someone has extended true genuine heartfelt gladness when they see you, or talk to you, or earnestly say EXACTLY the things i quoted him on, i have to take that at face value.

I have twisted nothing about him or about the things he has said to me or, about me, in the presence of others.

I have 5 people that saw and heard exactly the same things - no excuse me - Seven. Mr.TeacherMan and your petition driver Max also witnessed those exact same kinds of words come out of his mouth, the same genuine expression of warmth, and the same hesitancy about supporting your position that was becoming more and more clear in him the more we talked together.

People don't warmly give real BIG hugs, and often, just because they feel sorry for someone.

He gave me respect and compassion exactly the same things i gave to him. You have created another lie in front of the world and i am calling you out on it right now.

This man talked about his real, unforced, and genuine feelings.

Another thing i just noticed. It was obvious from the photo of him hugging me that if you actually look very carefully, you can see that the very top of his head is slightly taller than mine as we hug each other and are standing on even ground.

You are correct that he is, in fact, taller than me.

I did honestly appreciate that retraction by the way.

But now im pissed that you would turn right around and tell me everything i witnessed in this man, including everything i actually quoted directly from his own words that other people heard him say and tell me and everyone here, that it was what ?

fiction ? fallacy ? lies ? that i just invented it ? that my and everyone eles's radar was so off that we were actually all mistaken ?

and this guy - this humble and gentle and soft spoken guy - one of the most genuine people i have met this entire week - was making it all up just because he felt intimidated by me ?

Let's talk about photo analysis, OK ?

If you look at the picture of us taken through the glass window, you see from left to right, Cynthia (far left), Christine(near left closest to the camera), me (in front of the big pole), Dana, and Jeff at far right.

Let's look at body language, first of all.

There is very obviously what appears to be a comfortable distance between us all - exactly as i described in my narrative depending on who was talking to whom and at during what time. Not a "blockade" as you have described. At no time did he ever indicate that he was uncomfortable with me or our proximity. He is a smart man. Samrt enough to be out ther in the cold and working hard for a cause he deeply belives in - even if it is based in hatred and bias and misundertsanding and fear. certainly strong enough and smart enough to simply walk into the store and tell a manager that he felt harassed if that was the case fior even a moment. Since he was right by the only doors, he could not have been "blockaded" as you describe ie, because in order to do so, we would have had to block traffic flow in and out of the store - which we duid not ever do for one moment. You are trying to get your supporters behind you in using such distortion and i hope that by the end of this mail at least some of them will realize just whi you are and how you really do things that are so subtle, and so underhanded, it might just slip by many that actually want to hear more of your message, and that support you - you can use words like "blockaded" to bolster your support in the minds of your supporters - because you know you can get away with it. It's actually a very subtle psychological trick, therefore completely disingenous.

I KNOW you now. You have shown me your hand, i now i have shown you mine and you now know me.

you did this because you know you can get away with it with the people that support you...they should honestly be insulted by the way you use their minds and prey on their fears and their patriotism and anythign else that suits the ends of your will...

In this picture, no one single person is within what is regarded as anyone else's "personal space".

If you look at everyone visible (except Dana - you cant really see her clearly) - you will also notice what any expert on body language would also agree with me on - relaxed body language. Not only relaxed, but very comfortable. Very obvious.

Christine is relaxedly leaning back. Cynthia is squinting into the Sun, but she is also smiling - her body is tilted back and away from the group, indicating she is resting most of her stance on her hips and lower spine, indicating a relaxed and comfortable posture that one must assume when standing comfortably in that position for a while.

My stance is almost exactly like hers, but you can see it very much more clearly. My head is tilted slightly to one side, and you can almost see that i have a very pleasant and relaxed facial expression. Smiling. My stance is comfortable and indicates true self-confidence.

Just as an aside that must be directly related to a person's expression of genuine self confidence and self comfort as will always be belied in their body language, movement, and stance true self expression.

This is a VERY difficult thing to hide in body language because there are always very subtle or not so subtle indicators about how a person A.) feels about themself and B.) feels about others they are in the company of --

all of that As specifically regards your childish, mean, and very nasty and very subtle underhanded little slap about

" 99.something percentage of us who are positive which sex we are." -

You actually defeated your own argument in this one simple sentence.

You thought it was cute, highly intelligent, subtle, maybe even a little cunning - you defintiely intended it to be cutting, in fact, it's one of the single most nasty and intentionally rude things you could ever say to someone like myself - and you know that as perfectly well when you wrote it....

even though you actually surprised me very much earlier this morning by apologizing to me and Dana for misrepresnting our physical stature in your earlier missives to the general public - -

Anyway - to continue - For those of us that do feel compelled to risk our lives, give up our careers, lose family and friends that we dearly love, and face the constant rdicule, gossip, rudenss, judgement, humiliation, abuse, and general torment involved in the radical and difficult change in one's biological gender from one to the other - one has to be as sure as it gets, my dear - you would certainly have to know this -
Dr. Jacobs would certainly also have to know this - by the very same standards which you and others define this as a "disorder" as listed in the DSM IV classifications, the same standards are used for testing of potential gender change candidates in this country.

Meaning, simply, that one had better be darned sure - so sure in fact, that there cannot even be the slightest doubt of their actual gender by all psychological and psychiatric standards for testint that ccurrently exist in this country.

those tests (such as the MMPI exhaustive battery)( a series of progressively eliminative testing to reveal disorders in such a way that the answers and result cannot ever usually be faked, fooled, or cheated on even if you lie while taking it...

By many accepted standards, this eliminates the possibillity of any other major mental, and even a vast number of physiologic disorders - before the person can be passed thru without any question whatsoever -

so the answer to your little slap, where you just defeated yout own entire argument and made mine without me even having to try (but i am going to do it right here so that everyone else can see it in plain sight, and in clear terms) -

- is that - exactly the same standards that you and many detractors use to continuously denote deeply negative connotations, that use such terms as "mental illness" and "disorder",....

- are exactly the same standards that most of us will have to pass so rigourously that we had better be DARNED sure, my dear.

So had the therapists, doctors, surgeons, endocrinologists, personal physicians, and anyone else involved in the transitional process.

We are probably some of the MOST sure people about our gender on the entire planet, and that case is made by exactly the same psychiatric standards that you yourself have used to negatively define us by.

OK - back to the photo - basically it's pretty easy to see that anyone that looks at this photo can see that almost everyone's posture mirrors everyone else's.

Relaxed and very comfortable in that snapshot in time. Jeff and i are talking, and our postures almost exactly mirror one anothers'. Self assured, comfortable, confident, and very relaxed in almost every way.

I'll do the other pictures too, if you want, but i dont think that is necessary at this point. Any reasonably straightforward person could have figured past your lies and distortions by now.

I DO understand, though. You are playing politics against opinion, as am i. You must do this to support you aims, so must i.

YOU HAVE to stand on it now - you made your position but dont want to seem mean or too rude or vicious- public opinion really counts here as do the opinions of your supporters and allies -

you CAN'T back down all the way because they still have to be made to believe somehow that we are a bunch of bullies and thugs -

so you fabricate another distortion - a very subtle one - just enough to be effective but not too over the top as to seem you have really given much ground at all... really sucks and is kind of sad.

I still think he should have spoken for himself. Maybe he will sometime. That would be nice.

If you really respected him as a person, you would let him speak for himself, in repsonse to my assertions and descriptions of what has happened.

That way, there could be no mistake and no doubt as to accuracy one way or another.

You are a horrible liar.

Next, we go to your statement about HE suggested the hug. Anyone on the face of this planet that knows me, knows that i have intitiated 99% of all the hugs going on in these pictures and in my narratives -

- and you are going to tell me, that as visibly happy as he was to see me again that day,

- and him, telling me not once, but twice "how much he really liked me", and not only accepting my hugs but giving them back in just as much force of nothing but plain and sheer warmth between people that are comfortable with each other - ?

- and you are still trying to twist it into words like blockade and intimidation. You are a liar.

I m not mad at you, i just think if you are going to hate - then DO it. Show yourself and dont insult my intelligence by couching your hatred and insolence and contempt in fake graciousness.

that is even worse than directly insulting someone to their face. You couldnt even find the courage to insult me in a straightforward and decent manner.

At least the Elder woman and her friend did that to my face.

It hurt my feelings and was unecessary. It made me angry. But i did not insult her in return at that time.

She left that day, after taking my hand, and giving me a smile - kind of sad smile though.

Either both things were entirely disingenous - which would fly in the face of being a Good Christian Person - being that disingenous, or, she really did know that i meant her no harm, nor hard feelings and that we met in the "heat of battle" for what we both believe in.

She and her friend made it personal. I just made it difficult for them to succeed in their goals and did not resort to those same means.

She was very nice - really - she is a sweet lady - but is judging me and everyone else like me - exactly the opposite of what the scriptures tell her to do. Literally told me to my face i could not give witness to my own self awareness because i am so broken that i really need to be fixed, By whom ? YOU ?

You talk about imposing my will on others, but if some of your supporters could find a way to make gender change illegal, they would and you know it.

Some would ike to see us all killed or locked away from the rest of society and you know it. You would gladly deprive me of every ounce of freewill to enforce your version of spritiual correctness on us.

Impose MY will unfairly ? why dont you just go and be happy or something. Take a vacation and actually have some real joyful fun with someone that you truly love.

Her friend was the very first to raise her voice and engage in anger that day. I see you still never indicated that she was my age and taller than me.

Also very unstable and easily enraged.

She left in utter confused rage. even told me to stop talking about it, because i was "confusing her"

How is it, that one of your supporters, so sure and certain of her cause, would be so easlity enraged and "confused" after only 5or ten minutes of debate with a freak like me ?

She Left her post in rage and confusion an hour before the older woman finally did because i kept calling her out on every false assertion she tried to make about people like me.

I actually tried to discuss the issues of gender identity and human sexuality with her and she just totally freaked out.

I would actually genuinely love to sit down with both of them again and just talk with them.

I publicly apologize to you, and to both of them if they were offended or discomforted by me in any way whatsoever. I mean that and there is no insult behind it.

I could probably get along well with both of them under other circumstances and we were just sitting and talking - debating our points when not so deeply involved in the political fight with each other instead.

If you think that is just an empty or meaningless offer, then try me on it. I'll still sit down with you, her, both of them - anytime, anyplace, and try to have a civil discussion with all of you.

I could be dead completely wrong about you. I honestly hope that i am. Meet me in any forum of your choice and we will see where it goes and let witnesses on both sides be the judge.

Meet me for coffee. I dont care. I might just surprise you. I might hate what you do, but i dont hate YOU. i think that may be one of the differences between you and I.

That's enough. I am sure you will hate me and do eveything in your power to destroy me.

You may even succeed, but not before you are exposed as a truly lying, and hatred-filled person that you may have become in this life.

Let go of it, and learn somehow to truly love and be joyful again - unconditionally accept all others without judgement just like the father would - just like he told all of us to do - truly love again, once again be the joyful little beautiful girl that you once were, or it will destroy you for sure.

i get angry, i judge. i say stupid things out of raw emotion sometimes. When i do, i am genuinely sorry for it. I am human, just as you are.

Just dont say you are sorry with one hand, and then slap me in the face with hatred and underhanded blatant spite at the same time with the other.

You yourself showed more about a person's character than i ever possibly could with my own words.

Thanks for writing to me more directly.

I did appreciate that, even if i was not so pleasant to you in return. I hope to see or talk to you again sometime in the near future.




Maryanne Arnow said...
Hi again all -

It's been a long week - long days, and longer nights, spent writing my thoughts, feelings, and narratives, and then day after day of standing directly in the line of fire to fight for what i know to be true with every ounce of my heart and mind and passion.

It has been difficult, traumatic, and often verging on the anguished,
because of the tide of such misunderstanding that i feel so acutely.

People like myself must face this harsh reality every day, in a world of many that simply may not care, or not care to care, or that may despise me, or believe the despisement of others, for no other reason than the very nature of my existence. So be it.

I have been thinking a lot about things i said this morning to our most determined of opponents in this struggle to do what we ALL believe is right, no matter which view you share.

I must admit my error and my own wrong, as my conscience will permit no less.

I felt i had every right to refute what i percieved as lies and distortions, being spread about myself and other people i deeply care for, and deeply respect, such as Dana, and others.

The other night, i wrote a prayer, and sent it to a few certain people that i felt could understand.

It talked about peaceful engagement, and the unconditional expression of true kindness without judgement or exception.

In this, i have failed miserably today.

I allowed myself to be baited into responding with passive agressiveness, spite, insult, and harsh anger in the same manner it was given to me.

The very same things that i have villified others for, themselves.

I do not doubt that many of my words and actions in the last week have been lied about and distorted, as well as the words and actions of others on both sides of the argument.

I have refuted this and documented this to the best of my ability, but there is no excuse for me to resort to the meausres that my emotions allowed me to this morning, in dealing with Ms. Rickman and her supporters, in this very section of the blog.

I owe everyone an apology on both sides. You all deserve better, and so do i.

If i allow myself to act in the same way that i accuse others, then what good am i to anyone else, especially myself and those that i love and respect the most.

I am sorry. I can only learn from these mistakes.

I have been harshly characterized as a thug and a bully, and these things are difficult to hear.

I responded to Theresa in anger and spite, and the same kind of passive agressive nastiness that i railed about myself, this morning, in this very section.

This has been brutally difficult and exhausting..

The fight for this legislation is not over, i am sure, and i will and must continue to stand for what i believe in within my own self, and in any way i possibly can.

I believe i am doing the right things for the right reasons, and that i have been wronged deeply, but that still does not excuse my acting in the same way as i have been treated by others here.

i must always remember to do so in a way that cannot be percieved in the same negative manner that i have percieved as others doing to me, or by those i also support and believe in wholeheartedly.

I am sorry.

May God bless us all.

Most sincerely always,


February 26, 2008 2:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to and was pretty surprised about something. For people that are so concerned about their kids being targeted in the bathroom -- they're pretty quick to put pictures of their kids up on the internet in their "Victory Pictures" section....being such an easily identifiable group and all. Now people will know what their kids look like and where to find them....ouch -- parenting faux pas.....

February 26, 2008 5:06 AM  

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