Dog Bites Man

It wouldn't be right if we didn't mention this. From the New Orleans Times-Picayune:

The Rev. Grant Storms, the Christian fundamentalist known for his bullhorn protests of the Southern Decadence festival in the French Quarter, was arrested on a charge of masturbating at a Metairie park Friday afternoon.

Storms, 53, of 2304 Green Acres Road in Metairie, was taken into custody at Lafreniere Park after two women reported seeing him masturbating in the driver's seat of his van, which was parked near the carousel and playground, a Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office report said.

The first woman told deputies she was taking her children to the playground and parked next to the van at about noon. As she was walking around her own vehicle, she noticed the van windows were down and the occupant was "looking at the playground area that contained children playing, with his zipper down...," the report said. The woman noted that he was masturbating and quickly ushered her children out of her car.

She told a second woman, who walked to the van and also spotted the man masturbating, the report said. The second witness told deputies that the driver saw her and tried to conceal the zipper area of his pants with his hand. Southern Decadence protest leader booked with masturbating at Metairie park

When I first got involved in supporting comprehensive sex education, I thought it was unkind to imply that the anti-gay crazies have issues of their own. But over the years this kind of story has come up so many times, it is like a weekly installment, a new chapter every time you turn around. Why would any person be judgmental about another person's sexuality? It's like thou beholdest the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye, don't you think? Here's this guy disrupting gay people's celebrations with bullhorns and then parking next to the playground, masturbating while he watches the children playing. Yuck.

First, children are simply not appropriate sexual targets. When this preacher got busted he was alone in his car looking at some kids, no one was being harmed, the children didn't know what was going on, he may try to justify it as a victimless crime, but I think it's too close for comfort. What if one of those kids had chased a ball into the parking lot and started talking with him? Do you think he would have been able to pass up the opportunity to act on his fantasy? I don't think we should take a chance on that. People who find children sexually irresistible should recognize that they have a problem and seek help.

Second, this preacher was all too willing to judge others based on their sexuality, he has gone to great lengths to shame others without talk of forgiveness or second chances. He somehow appointed himself to persecute his gay and lesbian neighbors, whose sexuality causes no harm and leaves no victims, while -- if these reports are accurate -- he himself carried in his heart the most base desire to corrupt the innocence of children.

A self-styled "Christian patriot," Storms led a small West Bank congregation called The Reformer Church and for 10 years hosted "The Reformer Radio Show" on WSHO. Storms has railed against the Roman Catholic church, calling it "satanic" and "demonic."

He is especially known for arming followers with bullhorns, Bibles and picket signs to protest Southern Decadence, the three-day gay festival held in the French Quarter during Labor Day weekend. Storms grabbed national attention in 2003 with his failed attempts to shut down what Southern Decadence organizer Chuck Robinson called a peaceful festival that celebrates gay and alternative lifestyles.

"He's done everything through the years to disturb that and try to make it into something nasty that it's not," Robinson said. "If the Rev. Storms is caught doing that in our city, it is ludicrous and heinous that he would have the nerve to complain about any kind of sexuality."

The amplified antics of Storms and his followers prompted the New Orleans City Council to adopt ordinances banning the use of megaphones and other such devices in the French Quarter, though the law requires a certain decibel meter reading before it can be enforced.

Earl Bernhardt, co-owner of The Tropical Isles and two other Bourbon Street clubs, got a temporary restraining order against Storms during Southern Decadence 2004, then went bullhorn to bullhorn with him when that didn't work.

"He's, in my opinion, just repulsive," Bernhardt said Monday. "I'm not surprised at all that he got caught doing that. Serves him right. He'll be out of our hair down here."