Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Phobes Phinest Sneak Preview

The Ex-Recall town hall meeting last month, I am realizing, actually did us a service. Yes, it turns out the Ex-Recall concert featured up-and-coming artists who would have some of the biggest hits on the Maryland Homophobe Top Ten. Artists like Tres Kerns, whose "Cant' Get Enuff (of that Gay Porn Stuff)" has rocked the house all over the state, and Peter Sprigg -- who would've guessed his "Everybody Was Wrong About the Gay Boys" would be such a monster hit in the Phobe crew countdown?

I'd have to say Don Dwyer actually made his name at the Ex-Recall gig, bringing the place down, baby, down, with his remake of "Baby, I Bring You All My Hate and Fear." And, though it wasn't exactly new, we were all glad to hear the smooth, familiar sound of Bobby Knight's "People Dig It, I Ain't No Bigot."

Some of these artists are teaming up again in a concert in Annapolis: Petition-alooza.
ANNAPOLIS (AP) -- Conservative and Christian groups are mounting a wide effort against bills passed in the recent General Assembly session that they say promote a homosexual agenda.

The legislation would add homosexuals to the categories of people protected under Maryland's hate-crime laws, allow unmarried couples to make property transfers without paying state or local transfer taxes, and require schools to report bullying incidents.

Tres Kerns, executive director of VoteMarriage.org and Take Back Maryland, filed petition requests last week with the Maryland State Board of Elections to repeal the bills through voter referendums.

Mr. Kerns' groups, with the Christian Coalition of Maryland, Defend Maryland Marriage and the Family Protection Lobby, also support petition efforts by Delegate Don Dwyer Jr., Anne Arundel Republican, to repeal a bill that would give unmarried couples medical decision-making rights. Groups target bills on gay rights

Oh, yes, each one of them is a-true-Looza, fer real, man.

And did you catch Peter Sprigg singing "The CRC Say It (So It Must Be So)" on MSNBC the other day? He wowed the audience by bringing back the old James Brown "cape" routine -- shouting "Wait! Wait! Let me interject something!" and returning to the stage, still alive but pitiable. (Some people say he looks just like Elton John, what do you think?)

And Concerned Woman Bobby Knight has been stirring things up, too. Inspired by the USGA's decision to allow transgender athletes to compete in their golf tournaments, Knight wrote what may be his most powerful piece yet, "Can't Swing The Lady's Club (If You Were Ever a Man)." Here are some lyrics to that one, which I believe will be his biggest evah -- evah, baby:
"The USGA has now surrendered to the decadence and political correctness that is sweeping over Europe. One would have thought that the USGA would have had more backbone. The women's golf tour should be about women, not castrated males." USGA to allow Transgender Athletes

Oh yeah! Just seeing the words written down -- jus' layin' there, if you know what I mean -- makes ya want to git up and shake it! Oh yeah: Decadence and political correctness! I can get wid dat.

A big shout-out and tHaNkZ to Ex-Recall for assembling some of the Phobes' Phinest for a sneak preview of the HomoHaterHits of 2005. Now when we read the news, we feel like we've actually been there.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do you think Dwyer and company are opposed to schools taking action against bullying? Do you suppose it's because kids who aren't allowed to be bullies on the playground mightn't grow up to be bullies in the statehouse?

April 26, 2005 3:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home