Why Does the Government Regulate Marriage?
Lady writing in the New York Times asked a question I've asked here before. I didn't expect anybody to take it seriously, but now that I hear her talk about this, I do wonder, why does the government have anything at all to say about who you can marry?
Well, that is some interesting stuff. At first, you just ... lived with somebody, that was enough, move in and you're hitched.
And then, you can see that a government would want to regulate procreation and inheritance, this was a way for the guys in power to assert their superiority, that's an old game. But it's not clear why the people would put up with that.
It's like everything; you get swept into the system, and the system takes over. Marriage has nothing to do with the bureaucracy that manages your insurance policies, your pension, your doctor bills, your mortgage -- a marriage license was a handy way for those institutions to keep track of you and manage your stuff.
So because the bureaucracy needed records, the state needed to be responsible for getting you registered, and if you weren't, you couldn't get your benefits. And then it's just too easy for the state to attach strings to it. You needed a blood test. You had to be a certain age, single, straight. You can't marry without a license because the bureaucracy owns your life, and you can't get a license without meeting some criteria established by somebody with a political agenda.
My thought was that marriage should be registered by religious organizations. You could have the Church of Atheism, the Church of Gay, whatever, if a church would sign your papers you would be married. Of course, you immediately see the problem: could you accept someone else's idea of marriage? What would you do when the polygamists came out of hiding? How about when the ten-year-old down the street is given away in an arranged marriage, as is done in many lands?
That freedom business is a tough one, isn't it? It's fine as long as everybody does the same thing, doesn't always hold up too well when it's put to the test. For some people, the solution to that dilemma is to force everybody to do the same thing. Others see that it's tough, but figure it's worth the price.
WHY do people — gay or straight — need the state’s permission to marry? For most of Western history, they didn’t, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents’ agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity.
For 16 centuries, Christianity also defined the validity of a marriage on the basis of a couple’s wishes. If two people claimed they had exchanged marital vows — even out alone by the haystack — the Catholic Church accepted that they were validly married.
In 1215, the church decreed that a “licit” marriage must take place in church. But people who married illictly had the same rights and obligations as a couple married in church: their children were legitimate; the wife had the same inheritance rights; the couple was subject to the same prohibitions against divorce.
Not until the 16th century did European states begin to require that marriages be performed under legal auspices. In part, this was an attempt to prevent unions between young adults whose parents opposed their match.
The American colonies officially required marriages to be registered, but until the mid-19th century, state supreme courts routinely ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage. By the later part of that century, however, the United States began to nullify common-law marriages and exert more control over who was allowed to marry.
By the 1920s, 38 states prohibited whites from marrying blacks, “mulattos,” Japanese, Chinese, Indians, “Mongolians,” “Malays” or Filipinos. Twelve states would not issue a marriage license if one partner was a drunk, an addict or a “mental defect.” Eighteen states set barriers to remarriage after divorce.
In the mid-20th century, governments began to get out of the business of deciding which couples were “fit” to marry. Courts invalidated laws against interracial marriage, struck down other barriers and even extended marriage rights to prisoners. Taking Marriage Private (by Stephanie Coontz, professor of history at Evergreen State College and author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage.)
Well, that is some interesting stuff. At first, you just ... lived with somebody, that was enough, move in and you're hitched.
And then, you can see that a government would want to regulate procreation and inheritance, this was a way for the guys in power to assert their superiority, that's an old game. But it's not clear why the people would put up with that.
But governments began relying on marriage licenses for a new purpose: as a way of distributing resources to dependents. The Social Security Act provided survivors’ benefits with proof of marriage. Employers used marital status to determine whether they would provide health insurance or pension benefits to employees’ dependents. Courts and hospitals required a marriage license before granting couples the privilege of inheriting from each other or receiving medical information.
In the 1950s, using the marriage license as a shorthand way to distribute benefits and legal privileges made some sense because almost all adults were married. Cohabitation and single parenthood by choice were very rare.
Today, however, possession of a marriage license tells us little about people’s interpersonal responsibilities. Half of all Americans aged 25 to 29 are unmarried, and many of them already have incurred obligations as partners, parents or both. Almost 40 percent of America’s children are born to unmarried parents. Meanwhile, many legally married people are in remarriages where their obligations are spread among several households.
It's like everything; you get swept into the system, and the system takes over. Marriage has nothing to do with the bureaucracy that manages your insurance policies, your pension, your doctor bills, your mortgage -- a marriage license was a handy way for those institutions to keep track of you and manage your stuff.
So because the bureaucracy needed records, the state needed to be responsible for getting you registered, and if you weren't, you couldn't get your benefits. And then it's just too easy for the state to attach strings to it. You needed a blood test. You had to be a certain age, single, straight. You can't marry without a license because the bureaucracy owns your life, and you can't get a license without meeting some criteria established by somebody with a political agenda.
My thought was that marriage should be registered by religious organizations. You could have the Church of Atheism, the Church of Gay, whatever, if a church would sign your papers you would be married. Of course, you immediately see the problem: could you accept someone else's idea of marriage? What would you do when the polygamists came out of hiding? How about when the ten-year-old down the street is given away in an arranged marriage, as is done in many lands?
That freedom business is a tough one, isn't it? It's fine as long as everybody does the same thing, doesn't always hold up too well when it's put to the test. For some people, the solution to that dilemma is to force everybody to do the same thing. Others see that it's tough, but figure it's worth the price.
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In wasn't quite as simple as people just moving in together and so they were married: The local community had to consider them married. Stephanie Coontz's work is a bit more detailed then this synopsis. Nancy Cott's Public Vows is also very clear about how these consensual marriages worked in early American colonial and republican society. Not only did the community validate these consensual relationships, it frequently validated voluntary separations, as well. When Andrew Jackson married Rachel Robards in Natchez (under Spanish authority)they both believed that her first husband has already gotten a divorce, a process that involved getting the state legislature to pass a law abolishing the marriage. It turned out that they were wrong, though based on her relationship with Jackson, her husband did then get the divorce pretty quickly. Jackson's political opponents made much of this "adultery" almost 30 years after the fact, but Nashville society was really not very hard on the two. They knew what she had gone through in her first marriage and didn't really blame her for getting out.
Self-divorce in the early republic seems to have been more common than previously thought. Some of the historians working in this area are Nancy Cott, Lorena Walsh, and Claire Lyons, with whom I studied. People would take out ads in the local papers declaring themselves no longer connected to or responsible for the men and women to whom they had been married. Communities seem to have accepted these self divorces, especially when they knew (and they always did) that the couple was not compatible. More commonly one spouse would simply desert the marriage. Many of the earliest petitions for legal divorce were based on desertion.
Self-marriage was especially common. In Europe the costs associated with licenses and banns seems to have been a barrier to formal marriage among the working class and poor. Early American governments tried to keep fees low, but in many communities, there were no legal or religious authorities to formalize marriages. As the writer points out, the state courts recognized marital responsibilities when a couple had cohabited, even if they had not had a licensed marriage.
The writer above stresses the matter of choice, which is at the heart of both self-marriage and self-divorce. The courts had another matter in mind as well, and that was illegitimate children.
In the first centuries of Christian Europe, legitimizing children was one of the primary goals of marriage. Marriages protected property and one of the ways it did so was by defining which children had property rights. When the Church and then the civil law began to require that marriages have their imprimatur, legal and ecclesiastical authorities admitted that strict interpretation of the new rules would create bastards of much of the population. The same in America: an Anglican minister in Montgomery County Maryland said that, "if no marriage should be deemed valid that had not been registered in the Parish Book, it would I am persuaded Bastardize nine tenths of the people in the country." Eventually Virginia bucked ancient tradition by passing a law that legitimized children born before their parents' marriage, upon the parents entering into a legal marriage. Other states followed suit.
The legal lines between married and unmarried are more blurred now than they ever have been, at least in our nation's history. We've gone from a time when people who acted married were considered married and their marriages confirmed by the courts to a time when people are not married, no matter how conventionally they conduct their joined lives, unless they can prove to have gone through the legal requirements of the state in which they were married. In some cases, couples are still only considered married in the states in which they were married.
The focus of the protective nature of marriage has changed from property to children. That is one of the strongest reasons why same sex-couples (many of whom have already proved that they know how to do life-long committed relationships) should have the same legal recognition for their marriages that opposite sex couples now enjoy. The strongest argument for same-sex marriage is still, in my opinion, that basic argument of choice. The Supreme Court ruled in 1877 that marriage "is everywhere regarded as a civil contract" based on consent, and that state laws regarding marriage were "directory, not mandatory" because "marriage is a thing of common right."
Anyone can get married to anyone else now. The whole issue is whether it will be recognized by the government. If two gays find a church that will marry them, that's not illegal.
What gays are seeking is governmental recognition, so it's a little silly for a gay advocate to then be saying "what business is it of government who marries?" Gays want the regulation to favor them, much like they want governments to require citizens to let people decide for themselves what gender they are.
Anonymous, if the governement doesn't recognize it you're not married. Most states have laws preventing same sex couples from getting married.
Gays are not asking that the regulation favour them, they are asking to have the same recognition that straights have. That's not favouritism, that's equality. Only in your twisted mind is someone getting the same rights you have favouritism.
What an odd, convoluted way you have of phrasing things, anon. Let's unpack your construction "they want governments to require citizens to let people decide for themselves what gender they are." Obviously, "they" in this fragment refers to people with whom you disagree; but who are "citizens" as opposed to "people" supposed to refer to? Are they different in some way?
Wouldn't this fragment be clearer if it simply said "they want government to recognize the right of [citizens, people] to live according to their gender"? Or, did you have some intent other than clarity?
No government can create a marriage. At most, it can only create a binding certificate of partnership or union.
A marriage only requires that two people exchange, by agreement or deed, their mutual marital vows (before God, when they so believe).
To define "What purpose was Marriage"-?
We found that a law-case in early VA--
as a precedent--Ruled "That the Ability
to bear your own Children--was a most
'Valuable Consideration' between 'new'
Husband & Wife-! By their Oath, they
excluded & fore-sake any other persons
from this living 'legal-contract of
marriage'-! This marriage creates a living "legal partnership" and means they may proceed to Birth their own "Legal Children"--(without any
'Illegal Concubines'-!) They have the
responsibility to combine 2 Bloodlines
to continue these 2 bloodlines into
the "Future Prosperity"-! They will
"Bear their Own Children" between just
the 2 of them & Provide 'Grandparents' with Grandkids that will "Extend their Bloodlines for Future Generations for
Inheritance Purposes"! Since 'Same-Sex'
couples don't have the "Ability to bear
their own Children" & "Preserve both
Bloodlines"--I see 'no-way' that they
have "Fulfilled the 'former' Purpose"
of Marriage-! This 'Former' "purpose
of Marriage" has 'existed over 4,000 Years'-! (In 2015--Due to a 'Supreme-
Court Decision'--'It now Appears'--
That "Fraud"--is Now a "Very Valuable
Consideration" for Marriage-! Should I
add-'If "Fraud or Misrepresentations"
is present at the 'signing' of any
"Legal Document"--it renders the "Legal
Document"--'Null & Void' at the time it's signed--(Not when the Fraud is
Discovered-!)
I have been asked about my political opinion and I say "Christian", they ask me again and I say "you must be insane" to which they reply "why do you say that"...because you're asking the same question again expecting a different answer.
People say all over that "marriage is between 2 people who love each other" when that's incorrect. God (our ultimate judge, yes everyone on earth) gave us a clear definition of marriage - Genesis 2:24 "That is why a MAN (male) leaves his father and mother and is united to his WIFE (female), and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, NIV).
Upon this definition brings the thought, what if the guy used to be a girl and the girl used to be a guy (each are transgender), it's still biblically wrong in my opinion because God "created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27, NIV). So God is perfect and flawless (I'm a Christian and that's what I believe, you don't like that then great, carry on and be quiet) so if we change our gender we're basically challenging God who created us (mankind) and the universe.
Just a word for anyone out there, if you want to hate on Christians...have an open mind and pick up a bible and read it a little, or don't and be a hypocrite for asking others to have an open mind when you won't for religion.
Anon, do you really think there is anyone in the western world who hasn't picked up a Bible and read some of it? We have. And we're not missing out. It's usually the people who spew bible verses that have not read it. The bible is a very sexual and violent book. One, that to me, only shows the worst of humanity.
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Interesting. Jews have used marriage contracts since about 200ad. And if you want to go biblical Jacob had two wives, Rachel and Leah...and two concubines.
A great post!
Thanks for writing this post! I completely agree with you that a marriage license is a handy way for lots of government institutions to keep track of you and manage your stuff. And we can do nothing with that. I've never heard that 18 states set barriers to remarriage after divorce. How long was this rule in force? Sounds so ridiculous!
Great post!
Thanks for rising such an interesting question! I like the idea of marriage as a private contract between two families. I think that the conditions of that contract should not be infringed upon by third parties. Marriage is just one of many things that the government has no place in and that includes any kind of marriage. Do you agree with me?
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Prya commented, " Most states have laws preventing same sex couples from getting married." That's not true. Most states have laws defining what marriage is. Same-sex couples don't meet the definition of marriage in the same way throuples, or foursomes don't meet the definition of marriage. There never has been a "sexual orientation" question on a marriage application, so those who claim to be sexually attracted to their same sex, have never been denied access to marriage, as long as it's marriage, which equally hold true for everyone. Disagree? Provide a definition of "marriage" that does not discriminate. It can't be done. Giving every possibly contrived relational arrangement the status of "marriage" makes the institution meaningless, which is exactly the aim of those who intentionally or ignorantly seek to destroy it.
Great Article. I personally would like to see a whole new system set up for these licenses. If the governments reasoning is to have record than a central database that you can register your marriage online and it shouldn't cost a lot if anything. Also, I would like to see the option of renewable on these licenses of every 5 years so a couple can really re-think their situation every 5 years and if there is domestic abuse it helps the victim out of a bad situation.
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