People Make a Difference

Nice article in the Washington Post yesterday about how people-talking-to-people can change the world.

When he learned that Sen. James Brochin was planning to vote against Maryland's same-sex marriage bill, Tim Connor was dumbfounded.

After all, he and Brochin (D-Baltimore County) knew each other pretty well: For several summers, they had volunteered side by side in the concession stand at the neighborhood pool, where both have daughters on the swim team.

So last month, Connor, who adopted his 11-year-old daughter with his same-sex partner of 20 years, called his senator on his cellphone.

"I said, 'Jim, what are you doing here?' " Connor recalled. " 'Look at it through the kids' eyes. They don't have any issue with this.' "

Brochin didn't tip his hand at the time, but a couple of weeks later, he joined a majority of senators voting for the bill. That 25 to 21 vote shifted action on the legislation to the House, where a committee approved the bill Friday, setting up what promises to be a dramatic debate in the full chamber this week. Personal appeals on Md. gay marriage bill making a difference, lawmakers say

Anti-marriage arguments largely depend on some philosophical concept of marriage and a narrowed view of the "purpose" of marriage. In fact, marriage takes on an incredible number of forms around the world and through human history, it is an economic institution, a cultural institution, a system for preserving sometimes elaborate patterns of kinship, a tradition that often allows for the welding of alliances between families and social subgroups, in Western society marriage is an expression of a lifetime commitment of love, and marriage often functions as an institution that supports procreation and the upbringing of offspring. Given the multidimensional nature of marriage, it is overly simplistic to declare that this or that marriage does not meet the official dictionary definition. But that's really the only thing that the anti-marriage proponents have, the argument that marriage between two people of the same sex somehow violates an abstract conception of what marriage "should be."

In reality, each couple represents a unique flowing together of the forces of life, fate brings people together in ways that transcend logic and the feelings that people have for one another are unpredictable and surprising. What kind of rule determines if two people will fall in love? So they're both men, or both women, is their love any less real? And why shouldn't they act on their love, make a commitment, form a family, spend their lives together fighting over the remote control, and take care of each other into their old age?

This article makes a great point. Legislators might debate fine points of the philosophy of political systems and social implications of policy decisions, but when you get down to it, the people you talk to influence you the most.

As legislators have weighed the highest-profile issue in Annapolis this year - in some cases trying to reconcile their desire to extend rights with their religious beliefs - they've heard plenty from lobbyists and advocacy groups on both sides.

But it's the personal appeals that are making a difference, some lawmakers say.

Del. Tiffany Alston (D-Prince George's) cited the outpouring of opposition from black churches in her county as one reason for reconsidering her support of the legislation last week. On Sunday, ministers in some African American churches preached about the legislation and asked their congregations to register their opposition with lawmakers. A prayer vigil is planned for Monday night in Annapolis.

"I know that my community does not like this bill," Alston told her colleagues before voting against the measure Friday as a member of the House Judiciary Committee. Alston's unexpected absence at a voting session earlier in the week had slowed the bill's progress.

So yes, it works both ways. Legislators listen to people from both sides of an issue.

There is a moral to the story, of course.

Some of the personal outreach on both sides has been coordinated.

As part of a lobbying campaign, Equality Maryland, the state's leading gay-rights organization, has nudged neighbors, co-workers and fellow pool members of lawmakers to make personal appeals. Connor was encouraged to call Brochin by a former executive director of the group.

Within the same span of a few days, the senator's position was also questioned by a real estate broker in his district and a Republican constituent with whom he speaks regularly.

"It all started to grow on me and have an impact," said Brochin, a divorced father who previously supported civil unions for gay couples but balked at same-sex marriage. "These are families, just like my daughter and me. It made me realize the problem with the word 'marriage' may be my own."

We have seen the email blasts from the Citizens for Responsible Whatever, as well, telling their people to make phone calls and go to Annapolis to talk to legislators. They are working this hard, it is really important to them to make sure gay and lesbian couples cannot marry.

The Maryland House of Delegates is probably going to vote on marriage equality this week, with debate expected to begin Wednesday. Some Delegates are uncertain, they may not have thought through the whole concept of real people of the same sex marrying -- and you can be sure they are hearing from the other side, they are hearing about the sinful ways of our LGBT neighbors, the moral depravity of those who have chosen the "gay lifestyle." If you have a story to tell, if you have feelings about the issue, this is the time to contact your representative in the House of Delegates, let them see your face, hear your voice. It can make a difference.