Thursday, June 15, 2017

Trump Cabinet Meets

This went on for eleven minutes, I will clip from Vanity Fair's review of the first Trump cabinet meeting.

Note: This is not satire.

It started with Trump speaking a few words.
“Never has there been a president, with few exceptions . . . who has passed more legislation, done more things,” he began, hailing his purported accomplishments, even though Congress has yet to pass any major legislative bills. “We’ve achieved tremendous success. I think we’ve been about as active as you can possibly be and at a just about record-setting pace.” Trump Appointees Take Turns Praising Him In Bizarre Cabinet Meeting
In case you are wondering if your memory is going, no, you're fine. Trump has not passed any legislation.

They started with Mike Pence breaking the ice:
“It is the greatest privilege of my life to serve as the vice president to a president who is keeping his word to the American people,” he said.

Jeff Sessions came up next:
“It’s an honor to be able to serve you,” he said, describing the support he said Trump has from law enforcement across the country. “They have been very frustrated [and] they are so thrilled.”

Alex Acosta, Secretary of Labor:
“I’m deeply honored and I want to thank you for keeping your commitment to the American workers.”

Worse Than the Average Citizen Secretary of Energy Rick Perry got his turn:
“My hat’s off to you,” Energy Secretary Rick Perry said, hailing Trump’s decision to withdraw from the Paris climate agreement.
Though he is from Texas, he was not actually wearing a hat. I guess this explains why it was off.

Reince Priebus, who has held on to the worst job evah for this long anyway:
“On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing you’ve given us to serve your agenda and the American people, and we’re continuing to work very hard every day to accomplish those goals.”

Are you ready to puke yet?

Now it was Nikki Haley's turn, you know, the renegade UN ambassador who speaks her mind no matter what the White House wants her to say:
“It’s a new day at the United Nations. We now have a very strong voice.”
Maybe she meant her own voice, though I would think she would tiptoe around any approximation of vanity in this situation.

OMB Director Mick Mulvaney:
“At your direction, we were able to also focus on the forgotten men and women who are paying taxes, so I appreciate your support on pulling that budget together.”
He is referring to the "dead on arrival" budget that Congress is ignoring.

HHS Secretary Tom Price:
“What an incredible honor it is to lead the Department of Health and Human Services at this pivotal time under your leadership. I can’t thank you enough for the privilege that you’ve given me, and the leadership you’ve shown.”

This is how to have a staff meeting. Why all the problems all the time? Don't worry, be happy, and worship your fearless leader. Or they walk you out and disappear you. Your choice.

Elaine Chao, Secretary of Transportation:
“Thank you for coming over to the Department of Transportation. Hundreds and hundreds of people were so thrilled to hang out, watching the whole ceremony. I want to thank you for getting this country moving again, and also working again.”
And tens and tens of them might still have a job if the Trump budget, with 13 percent cuts to DoT, passes. This Just In

Do you remember how we laughed when Saddam said he got ninety-nine per cent of the vote? How far are we from that now?

Robert Lighthizer, U.S. Trade Representative:
“I apologize for being late for work. For about four months, I got bogged down in that swamp you’ve been trying to drain.”
I missed the video but presume this got a hearty, and not at all ironic, laugh from the swamp creatures.

Sonny Perdue, Secretary of Agriculture:
“I just got back from Mississippi. They love you there.”

Steven Mnuchin, Secretary of the Treasury:
“It’s been a great honor traveling with you around the country for the past year, and an even greater honor to be serving you on your Cabinet . . .”

We have rolled our eyes at dictators past and present for this kind of thing, surrounding themselves with sycophants, firing those who fail to pledge loyalty. It is very strange and difficult now to see ourselves cast as residents of a country like this.